Sindhu's Pages.............

The treasure box in the Attic ........

2012-02-02T01:15:00.000-08:00

Cleaning can be the worst pain in the neck ...swish goes the broom missing out many crucial places like the fast train passing the borinf station ,,,,of course when your maid does it ...she definitely does not bend down and clean under the cupboard and misses the cobwebs etc etc etc .........the maid train is bound by duty to stop at all the sleeeepy boring stations no matter what ...Well anyway cleaning is boring .....but when it leads you to a treasure ...then what ...a hidden treasure just like the secrets underneath an ocean .A treasure that is so valuable that you need to keep it safe ....what if the Kohinoor thieves decide to just smuggle it out !Well finally after missing out many stations i reached the spot marked X.....the treasure was close by ......my hair on my arms stood like the meerkats in the desert ........tingling as i got closer .....flashes of light sparkled in front of my eyes .......yess got it ........What could it be ?A precious gem studded jewel box ...that opened with a click and opened with a song to reveal grandmas antique kundan ka chain .....or grandpas ruby studded earring that was centuries old and passed on from generations .....and it could make the holder richer than the Queen of England !

Nope you are all wrong ......A round tin box ...paint painfully fading away at the edges but the flowery print still clear ...... It did not open with a click though ...you definitely broke your finger nails trying to pry it open ........hmm that was a punishment for all who tried to take away my treasure ....And my eyes shine like sparklers when i open it and reflect the joys of the world .........wow my old shiny toffee wrappers ....my exchange bubble gum cards ........my teddies bow that tore when i tried to dress him up in my fathers shirt ..........my foreign pencil bit that was my pride in school .......my double sided pencil box that was as rare as clothes are on mallika sherawat ......my old tinkle special edition in which my letter to the editor was printed (wow) , my first nail paint bottle blood red colour ........my dolls leg which i hid so that i could fit it back when i got her back .......she got lost you see ...when she went to fetch water from the well ...an old steel cooker in which i had cooked uncountable meals for my sister ........a ball made of rubber strings that my brothers had made for me when i visited them at Trivandrum ..and wow how high they bounced ! A skeleton of a little girl bag in which i hid my girly treasures and findings .....a single long earring , actually my first long hanging earring which i had worn with pride on many occasions .......The best of all was the picture postcards of the then star Govinda and pictures of madonna and george micheal .....wow ..........The treasure tin in itself is a treasure though ...i took chocolates to school in it for my birthday and proudly told all that my uncle bought it for me from Muscat :)

So who all agree that this was really a great treasure hunting ......come on you all open up your closets and attics and do a little treasure hunting .....find your treasures and your childhood once again and relive every little treasury moment ......Every little treasure no matter how mangled or broken will have its own story to tell .......so go on you all ....Happy Treasure Hunting :)))

The Chinmaya excursion .......(part4)

2011-12-22T22:14:00.000-08:00

Some good writer could write a novel on my Chinmaya days in my new class :)One thing was sure ....from the minute Anithas and my friendship was sealed ...Dileep's fate was sealed too and connected to ours .....Poor fellow whether he wanted it or not we did not ask him but he too was pilled onto this bondthat formed with the strings of silliness , madness, giggles, serious discussions on equally silly topics , more giggles , laughter ...and everything mad ... You know its quiet amazing as to how we girls can find a topic daily to discuss ....and its equally amazing how the guys find all this amusing ....day in and day out :)We discussed our dreams .....they were more like comedy stories directed by the most flop director of this world .And Dileep would turn his head slowly ...in slow motion ...with the expression .... what wrong i did that i have to hear all this :)Slowly and steadily Dileep became a part of our discussions ....actually he had no choice but he was very brave and became our best buddy from then on ........I remember i had a dream once that Ganesan sir was teaching Shiva Thandavam in the Assembly and for a few days many laughed their heads off discussing this .....Since our seats were conveniently near the window ....bird watching was a compulsory process ...though we tried hard not to :) Soon Krishnadas and Kesavan too joined the gang ..... Krishnadas ....who was always with us with his laugh and innocent smiles and Kesavan silent ....I remember A guy would cross that path daily and Dileep adn Kdas told us that hi name was Thampuran and that he was equal to a gunda .....From that day started the Thampuran watch and we would religiously and patiently wait for this guy to walk that way ....well its not always you get to see a gunda in Tripunithura .....Sunil and me were always teased ...since we conversed in English and to make matters worse Usha Mohan teacher made us read Romeo and Juliet !!! Well that cemented the fact that now all got the rights and the copyrights and etc to tease us without any mercy !!!! Well finally all the teasing got us and Sunil and me had a big fight one day ....reason was what even i dont know today and am sure even he did not know :) maybe it was an act to scare the others away who mercilessly teased us as Romeo and Juliet and Naani and Naanappan !! ........Well anyway that reduced the teasing and the coughs that eruptedall around for wrong resons ...Yes that reminds me if Strepsils or Halls or for that reason any cough medicine would have sold too well in our class since each and every day a few had this cough that was pretty contagiousand severe ......Some guy smiled at Asha Mary immediately ...cough cough cough ...and many coughs Sunil asked me a doubt ....cough cough cough ....... Dildeepa spoke to Dileep cough cough cough ........Pradeep spoke to Anitha cough cough cough .....And some even coughed like they were last stage TB patients ....you know thw more severe the cough the more contagious it was ........And when the guys had our very own pretty Asha Mary to be courteous to ...we girls got our very own Ram Kumar ...who arrived as a breathe of fresh air and rain and whatever ......Our very own Chemistry lab assistant Ram Kumar who was courteous , polite , extra decent and above all very handsome :) ( NOTE : ALL THIS HAPPENED YEARS BACK WHEN WE WERE SILLY AND INNOCENT ....SITUATIONS SPOKEN HERE ARE NOT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY BY HUSBANDS AND WIVES OF PERSONS SPOKEN HERE .....THIS HAS BEEN WRITTEN FOR FUN ABOUT OUR FUN MOMENTS AND WRITTEN WITH A PURE INTENTION .....ALL mentioned here are amazing guys and girls who are real gems more precious than any u could buy in a store and people who have them in their lives today are indeed lucky )Yes now where was i ....yup Ram Kumar .....From then all of us had extra interest in chemistry practicals and extra doubts too .....:) HA ha poor guy he never knew that he was discussed so much that we could write a book on him ......But he was equally respected too by all of us guys and girls ....and i still remember the autograph he wrote for me on our farewell .....Sathyam Shivam Sundaram ....only ram Kumar could write so much using so less words ...Smitha Francy is another person whom i admired ....She was one person who could recite every verse in the Gita more beautifully and with so much devotion than any of us in the class ......Teachers we had the best ....and Mini teacher was without doubt our favourite .....And am so proud to let u all know that after my initial failure my trail was only upwards and good friends and endless support laid out flowers of success on the trail and i was selected as Head girl of the school :) That was such a proud moment for me .....That particular incident wiped out most of the unpleasant past ....andthen there was no looking backwards ......Life was beautiful and life was good ...because when u have the right friends then no difficulties are tough enough .........May write more ........wait and read on .......

My Chinmaya Journey continues ........(Part 3 )

2011-12-13T21:59:00.000-08:00

So here we go again but from now on a more pleasane journey that just keeps better as we go on ....... And a journey that without doubt is my favourite ..School reopened and once again i stood at the doorstep ..of a new class...new people ...old doubts older anxieties and all .........This time though the anxiety was huge ...instead of butterflies i had a stampeding herd of elephants in my stomach ...........Mini teacher welcomed me in without introductions this time ....and slowly i stepped in .........ashamed of myself ....i was a failure ...would they ridicule me or regret me based on this new tag i had on my forehead ........But there was something nice from the minute i stepped in ...a nice feeling .....and then i saw 2 faces .....2 people who gave me the best smile i had ever seen in my life ......the beauty of the smile being not in its actual physical beauty but because of the fact that it was genuine ...without judging me ...without noticing any tags ....Dileep and Anitha ....2 friends whom i will cherish till my last day on earth ....2 people who removed the hard stairs and fitted a smooth escalator and made my journey free of any hassle from then .......and they held my hand with such a strong bond of friendship and support that from then i never made one faltering step ...i never took a fall .....it was only forwards from then ....Love you both for so much you have done for me ....much more than u even realised that you were doing much more than maybe even what u wanted to do .......I remain indebted to you for things that can not be fitted into a blog ...cannot be put in words .Soon after Nandu and Krishnadas followed .....two of my best buddies :) till date .....I sat in the last row , second bench ...behind Dileep and with Anitha :) How and when the friendship grew i cannot say ........There was another new student entering the class with me ....Asha Mary ....The minute Asha entered the classroom there was silence and then whispers and talks ....Naturally ;) she was so pretty that none of us could take our eyes off her ...girls and boys alike hehehehe .......Well then my list of friends grew ....it branched beautifully and in a healthy way ...and gave out flowers of acceptance and trust and comfort ......And then i knew my place was set ....this was where i belonged ....maybe this is why i failed ....Every failure has a reason and one of the reasons for mine ...i believe ...was for me to meet and get to know such wonderful people ......It would have been a huge loss if i had not got these friends ........The list grew ....Gomathi , Meena , Remya , Athira, Praveen , Pradeep ,Sunil ,Kishore ,Dildeepa , Smitha , and actually everybody in that class ................Read on..............

Chinmaya ......A Sequel ( Part 2 )

2011-12-11T20:43:00.001-08:00

So lets journey forward from where i left the trail ...and now i know i have many people with me on the forward journey .....My first step into Std 11 Chinmaya Vidyalaya , Tripunithura .....taken with a lot of doubts and anxiety ....not knowing where its leading me to ....but taken with prayers and hopes for the best ....I was asked to introduce myself , which i did ...and ended my introduction with the words ...I did my entire schooling in Bombay .....CRASH BOOM DAAAAM DHOOOOOOM ........ those words kind of dropped a bomb in my new class :) That was a time when our dear Tripunithura was not ready to adjust and understand the alien land called BOMBAY !!!! Little did i know that for the next one year i would be judged severely based on this one sentence ..People accepted Dubai and Riyadh and Saudi and even Africa ,,,,but Bombay ! no way ....Girls from Bombay are " over smart " , " not to be trusted " .....The problem with the human mind is that it absorbs the bad more easily and lets the good linger back so that it can absorb it in leisure ...The same thing happened to me too .... I absorbed these comments faster ....There were a few who thought i was cool ...:) I remember Manju coming and asking me " Have you seen a lot of film stars :)) " Manju was a person who always made me feel comfortable ( also comfortable about my bombay tag that just refused to come off !) Slowly the girls and i got familiar with each other ....a few with caution and a few with the thrill of welcoming someone new ......The guys kept away from me as if i was an alien ..... many times i encountered whispers like " she is from bombay right ....adhigam adipikyanda !It hurt a bit but i let it go .....Then like an oasis in the desert i found a silent dreamy ...oblivious to all the happenings ...a silent girl sitting in the first bench of the last row ......SREEDEVI ...who later on went on to become one of my closest friends ....I enjoyed the moments i spend with her ....we had common interests poems .... stories .....and dreams and imaginations ........Sreedevi really made me feel good .A few guys too were really nice to me naming a few ...Mahesh , Krishnakumar , Ramesh Krishnan and Vineeth Vishwam ( that guy always made me laugh :) ) ...the rest stayed away ..............................I remember an incident when i tapped a guy on his shoulder to ask him something ....tapped him because i did not know his name and felt it would be rude if i did shoo shoo and called him ..... MY GOOD LORD ...the look on that guys face made me feel like i was standing trial in a courtroom for triple murders and a dozen kidnappings and many othre heinious crimes !!!!!!! Immediately his bench partner said Bombaylu padichu valannadhalle ...vivaram koodi poyeetta ( she is from bombay right ...she thinks too much of her self ) What had i done ?!?!?!?!? Immediately Saira came to my rescue and said she does not know ...and told me " Sindhu you should never touch your guy classmates ...usually we use a book to call them !?!?!?! " A book ??? If you need to call someone whose name you dont know ....Beat them with a book or a pencil case or a waterbottle or anything you get in hand ...but dont touch them !?!?! Now what sort of weird rule is that ?? Dont touch a person but u can beat him up hahahahahahahahaha The initial shock and the anger gave way to comic relief ....even today i think of that incident and laugh :) If your mind is clean then a touch is also clean it does not spoil you in any way ..........Hope that person is reading this .....;)From STATE SYLABUS to CBSE was like the transition from a road to a mountain !!! And in a semi friendly ...semi hostile environment it just gets tougher ...There were nights when i cried myself to sleep ........Let me not forget to mention Arun Paul :) .....though my senior ...but a person who always made me feel welcome .....a person who accepted me as a friend along with my bombay tag and funny accent etc etc etc ....... I remember him going on his cycle when i stood at the van stop and giving me a big smiley good morning and i would silently wish hope all my classmates understood me equally well and accepted me the same way .......A big thank you to Arun paul and Sreedevi and also Saira ...who gave me comfort in the desert ........ And then thanks to Sweet Rose,Rose,Anju,and ever so lively and happy Sreeja ( I loved her spirit and her non stop chatter and her friendly talks ) , Mahesh , Krishnakumar , Manju .........My thoughts have got clogged ....the string or the chain is broken temporarily and many memories have got mixed up so i will write a few gud memories i have ...Oh how Prakashan sir used to make us laugh and i would have tears in my eyes by the end of his class , My pretty Mini teacher ...strict but very much respected , Ganesan sir ...always a father figure feared , loved and respected ..... And the final straw was when i failed my 11th std .... Something i had never dealt with in my life ......Failed ? me ? no there was some misunderstanding ....it could never happen ....my father who usually is so strict that i think twice to speak in front of him ....he too did not say a word to me ...he understood perfectly what i was going through ....and i a thankfull to him for that till this day ...Slowly i realised that after God put me in hell for a year ( with a few comforts ) now he was sprinkling chilly powder on my burns ......Not one tear escaped my eyes because i could not believe it .....A few people who i thought were my friends ,,,became strangers overnight ! That hurt more than my failure .....And at that moment i realised that i had struggled and reached the top of the mountain only to find another mountain waiting to be climbed ...Read on it gets better from now

Chinmaya Vidyalaya ....A nostalgic Journey (Part 1 )

2011-12-10T03:43:00.001-08:00

Chinmaya Vidyalaya ... is the Mother of Pearl in my beautiful necklace of pearls ....where each pearl is a good incident in my life..... all stringed together with a string of unbreakable thoughts and memories and silent thanks ...And this pearl no doubt shines most brightly ...because it paved the way for the most wonderful journey in my life ........I reached Tripunithura with a million doubts , anxieties , sorrow , fears and many other things negative ......It's but natural ........Bombay had been my home for almost 13 years ....the 13 best years of my life ...Suddenly my father got an unexpected transfer and with the click of a finger my entire life changed before my eyes .......I left my best friends of 12 long years...the people i grew up with .....who knew me in and out .......i left my home my school everything that was dear to me ........Oh yes it was painful .....my heart ached like being pricked by a thousand thorns .....my mind ached with the million doubts that would naturally bother a 14 year old .... standing in the most delicate age of her life ......Now let me jump a few months forward ....I then got admission to my 11th std at Chinmaya Vidyalaya , Tripunithura ......Ok the name sounded strange at first ( no offense meant in any way ) How would i settle in with the children who have been friends for 10 to 14 years of their lives ...would i fit in ? would they accept me ? would i be teased for my different accent while speaking malayalam .....would i be accepted ?Then i found myself standing at the door to the my new world ....my clasroom .....Ok now i knew how an alien would feel if he suddenly landed on earth :) All eyes on me , some smiling faces , some faces without any emotions , some looks that plainly stated '" Hmm now who is this ?" There were whispers and stares and smiles and again stares ....it seemed like forever before Mini teacher called me into the classroom .......I kept my right foot in .......My first official Chinmaya Vidyalay step :)Read on there is more to come ....

After Ammu now it's Appu the angelic devil .......

2011-09-10T23:32:00.000-07:00

Many of you have read my earlier blogs on Ammu ....she has moved on and given the stage to her younger brother Appu now .......It's so totally different ..a little girl growing up and a little boy ...are like the sky and the earth ! There is nothing similar ......but there is nothing different too ...only thing is everything is done and said and "executed " in a totally different style !!!!

Ammu was in a world of fairies and buttercups and magic and giggles ....... Appu's world begins with Lord Ganesha ..means its fascinating ...then transcends through a wild life trip that shows only elephants ...Appu has a collections of around 5-6 elephants in different sizes and colours :) Then there is Chotta bheem the much loved indian cartoon character ...and appu drinks milk because it makes chotta bheem strong .....He tried eating laddoos like bheem too but found out that chotta bheem has a too sweet tooth and he doesn't !

Gone are the days when i dressed as i pleased ( sigh !) . Now i need to please my escort the great Appu ! Amma why is your hair pinned up on top of your head ....its not nice .......and he will sulk and fight till i let down my hair ......But letting myhair down has its benefits since soon i get a very tight huggy sloppy kiss from the great fashion guru himself !!! ( A 3 ft tall Fashion guru !!) Sarees were always a pain in the neck for me .....fornutaley fashion guru Rohit does not like them either :) ( am doing a victory dance here ......and i shudder to think what wud happen of me if he had liked it !!! ) Let me just say that the Sari is one of the most beautiful and sensuous indian attire ........ but i do not know how to drape it beautifully so it and me have always been at loggerheads with each other ...the battle always being won by the sari that simply refuses to lie beautifully on me and instead shows its protest by coiling around me like a python on a poor treee !!!

So back to Appu and me and the sari ...... If at all i succeed to somehow bring the sari under my command taking help from an army of pins .....the protest is almost immediate ....Its made in a loud bossy tone with a very tiny shrill sound hehehe ......Amma why have you put this looooooooong dupatta ( thats what appu calls a sari !) Actually A Dupatta is a part of another indian dress the Salwar kameez . The frown on the face when he bosses around is so fierce that i really fight back urges to just huggggg him tight hahaha and keep a serious face and tell him that a sari is a beautiful dress ...to which of course he retaliates rather strongly ..... Appu loves his Eggs !!! Boiled , poached , scrambled ...anyway he loves his eggs ! The minute he starts fighting or feels upset or cries i ask him Appu do you want an egg.........And then i can see A Flash of lightning in his eyes and a upside rainbow forming on those tiny lips :* Then from the minute i take the egg out of the fridge ...i have a small man running around me with an excited high pitched voice asking queries like Amma what are you doing , amma did you put salt , amma is it done , amma .............. finally i tel him that he gets the eggs only if he keeps totally silent .... Keeping silent is like Scaling Mount Everest with pointy heels that have been greased for Appu !!! IMPOSSIBLE ( thats what i love about him :* the ability to always be around me never letting me feel alone )

So after a second that seems like a year of silence Appu tells me with a Smile that cud melt Iron ...Amma appu is a good boy now so now i get the egg hahahahah He helps me in beating the egg and loves those yellow sun like yolks breaking and circling around the bowl ....... Once its ready again Appu climbs Mt.Everest in greased heels ..... the looong wait to get the egg to cool down ! Finally the ringmaster has been tamed and settles down with a calm composed happppy expression .......to eat his Egg ......the only thing that can silence the great orator .........:* Keep reading for more Appu adventures ...am sure there will be plenty of pages to fill .........

A Wedding and a Funeral ...........

2011-09-02T05:16:00.000-07:00

When life decides to grow its own wings ....and flutter away as it pleases ....the reins no longer obey you ....and compromises are your best friends .....then two occasions are the only times when life comes back to you ...when memories come back to you ...when you feel that you have forgotten much more than what you need to .......when life reminds you that it has taken you so far away from all that really matters to you ...Weddings and Funerals .

Fate is such that a person is missed the most and thought of the most on his funeral ! When i was small he would do this or he would let me have piggy back rides on his back or he bought the best gifts for me etc etc etc .......
If that person meant so much then how come we forgot these joys when he was alive , how did we forget to simply dial his number and say hello how are you ....how did we not find that one hour to spend sometime with him .

How did we forget that he was a part of our childhood and growing years ....and that he slowly faded into the shadows as time passed ....he faded into the shadows of our life and we forgot but he always watched us , heard us , asked about us and knew what all happened in our lives ...because he genuinely cared and we did not find time !

In the past few months pangs of guilt have been making their visits regular as days pass by ....I lost a few loved ones recently and i cannot stop blaming myself that i forgot that they were in my life's shadows ...watching out for me , praying for me ,seeing me and being happy in my happiness ...and i simply did not find time to glance back and notice them ..

I cried for them when they passed on .....but these days i cry more ....tears fill up to the brim when i think that i did not give them the time i should have given , i did not call them as much as i should have , i did not notice the figures in the shadows till one day they suddenly became such dark shadows that they will never come out of the darkness into my life ever again !

Am ashamed of this careless attitude i had to life , and i resolve to correct myself ....

A wedding is a similar occasion when we meet our loved ones , make merry , eat , laugh , remember the beautiful past we shared , hugs and kisses and then they too become a part of the shadow ........ to meet at the next wedding or funeral ?

Weddings and funerals seems to be the time ...the only time we ever look into the past and remember the people who really matter to us ..

A little more about Ammu :)

2010-11-22T22:18:00.000-08:00

For those who do not know Ammu :) refer to all blogs under the same tag .....

Life has been busy ...actually maddeningly busy . After Rohit was born time seems to fly and beat even light ...Einstein would change his theory if he saw the pace at which my life has moved on ...

I was a mother for the past 8 years and then now am a mother of 2!!! When did all this happen :)
In all this rush there is one small person in my house i have neglected a little .....not because i actually wanted to but because i dont even get time to think !!
For a mother this is no excuse and for this i want to Apologise to my Ammu in public :( and i want to Thank her for being the angel that she is :)
From the day Appu was born till today she has shared her time with Appu . She has shared her mother , father , home , toys etc with him .
Children her age are capable of unbearable tantrums to attract attention to themselves and even harm their siblings who are getting all the attention .
But my Ammu does nothing of this sort ...
She understands when i dont read her stories because i need to make Appu sleep .
She understands when I dont listen to her school stories as i need to change Appus diapers or give him a bath .
Understands when i take her toys and give them to appu as he is the smaller one .
She understands when i shout at her for nothing as am tensed with Appus tantrums and adamant demands !
She checks the food cooked at home and outside and tells me "Amma dont give this to Appu as its too pungent( as her eyes fill with water due to the food she just ate ) or too sour or too bland .
She cleans the plate he gets for his biscuits with the end of her dress since the wipe cloth is too high for her to reach ( and gets a firing for bad manners and dirtying her dress !!)
She misses her favourite tv show because Appu wants to watch Chotta Bheem or Play school ...
She begins her day with a Good morning Appu and ends it with an Appu good night :)
She fights with Appu endlessly as he snatches everything she takes ....but when i scold or give Appu a small beating for the same her big round eyes fill with tears :(
She prays only rarely but when she does its first for Appu to always keep him happy or to make his fever better or that he gets his favourite toy that he just saw on tv ..

She laughs loud and silly when Appu does his pranks and bears them as well ....when he pulls her hair or punches ehr etc .
She understands when Manoj and me scold her for bad table manners or disobedience when actually in her world life is just fun and there are no serious things like table manners or neat rooms ...just silly loud laughs and songs that are sung without a care in the world !!!

I love you Ammu for being the perfect daughter .....since `with all that baby charm and her imperfections , her fights , her silly laughs , her tiny tantrums , her unending love , her love for paani puris and her round eyes that spill naughtiness , her silly ideas and her even sillier principles ........she become the most perfect little girl in the world .....
Thank you Ammu for filling my life with the Rainbow of LIfe ! I love you more than anything in this world !

The Rose and the Dew drop .......

2010-10-20T03:28:00.000-07:00

What shines there like a precious gem ,
on a petal shining with pride ..
The rose seems shy as she blushes red ,
wearing her jewel like a bride .

Rose bush ...rose bush can you say ,
what makes your flower shy ?
It is her gem ...her lover ...her joy
and i admire it with a sigh .

Little rose can you give him to me ?
I ask with sparkling eyes ,
She is so silent , as she stands ,
her silence asking me ...Why ?

Little rose why no answer gives thou ?
with your gem will you part ?
She looks on ever so silently ...
Her silence touches my heart .

And then her silent happiness ,
slowly seems to melt away ,
As she looks on the rising sun,
"NO" her silence seems to say ..

Rose bush ...please tell me why ...
the little rose fears the sun ?
As he rises , her little heart knows ...
Gem ...now there would be none !

I look on silently as her lover dies away
as she looks on , the pain tearing her apart ...
where is he ...can you say ?

Thou be nor sad oh beauty ,
He will return to you
sleep with content and a wish in your heart ,
the hours are but very few.

She stands with searching eyes to the sky ..
and wonders without a word
When my precious gem comes back ...
I would have left this world !

The rose she sleeps with a heavy heart ,
and wakes up with a silent prayer ,
As she slowly opens her eyes in fear ,
she sees ...him waiting there .

Rose bush rose bush i happily sing ,
What a beautiful sight !!!!!!
The blush is back on her beautiful cheeks ,
As silent lovers unite .

Stars in the sky .............

2010-06-22T04:10:00.001-07:00

You know people who keep complaining just bug me like hell ! God ...complaints complaints complaints ....about something and nothing and everything .....
I wish i had a better car , i wish we had our own home , i wish my childs teacher was as good as ur kids , oh so much of work at home am fed up , .....wish i was a star in the sky ......that takes the cake !!!

Hey you guys ....stop complainiong for once and count your blessings for Gods sake !!!
Look at people ;less fortunate than u .....

I wish i had a better car ...better !!! that means atleast u have a car man .....people walk in the hot sun since they dont have 50 paise to take the bus ticket !!!

I wish we had our own home ......!!!1 u should be lucky u have a rented one atleast ........people lie on roadsides and pavements ....and risk being robbed or raped or being killed .....

I wish my child had a better teacher !!! Atleast your child has a teacher .....Kids work in firework factories , pick garbage , wait on your tables as ur kids order yummy dishes from the menu ...........

I wish i was a star in the sky !!!! God people u think the star has an easy life .........it battles with meteors and comets and fiery pieces of burning cebry each minute .........BUT STILL ....it shines down for you .......

Now that is commendable right !!! Braving all problems (which are actually no problems at all comparing to himalayan problems faced by others ) and still shining in all glory .........

So dont just wish that u were a star in the sky .....try being one for a change ....

Count your blessings and be happy !!!

Just got me thinking .......

2010-04-03T01:49:00.000-07:00

Last evening my year and a half old son Rohit needed a diaper change . i washed him up and made him sit on the bed in the bedroom and went out to the drawing room to get his water .
Till the time i got back he kept calling me and i kept replying ......
He did not budge from the spot i made him sit but ....he kept calling ...

That got me thinking ....he had no reason to call me , he needed nothing and had nothing to tell .....but still he called and called ......

Trust ....an inner satisfaction .....courage ....what did my voice give him ......It gave him the courage to sit there alone in that room .it gave him satisfaction that he has someone to respond to his calls ,it gave him the trust that if he calls am here for him , it made him feel that he is not alone !!!

What else do babies want ?

It got me thinking ....how do some mothers just throw them away !!
How do some mothers leave them among garbage heaps and walk away !!?!?!
One look at those helpless eyes is not enough to make u grab them and hold them close to you ?!?!?!
Not once do they think that without the love and care of a parent they will not survive this cruel world :(
We read so many horrifying stories of babies being found abandoned , babies being eaten by dogs and other animals .........and found in garbage dumps !!
babies being placed at doors of orphanages ( that is better than treating them like unwanted garbage )

Or babies being flushed down toilets or water drains !?!?! My God humanity , rational thinking , love , sensibility ....how can all this be dead in people !?!?!?

Am making sense ? or not ? Am not sure but these thoughts just came to my mind ....a rush of thoughts actually and for a minute i felt numb .
is that a mother who DISPOSES her baby like she throws out waste in a garbage chute ......a mother ? she would not even be human !!!
It's a life , that you bring into this world , a part of you .......if you want to throw ur baby away i guess you should be thrown out with it too ........

I cant even imagine how much it would cry ....for food for a drop of water , in pain , in fright , in sheer helplessness ...........for one glance or one reply from the one person it thought it could trust in this big cruel world ..........

TheAngelic devil and the Fairy .........

2010-03-08T03:21:00.000-08:00

Its been a long time since i wrote anything .....that's because i don't get time to write anything and so ,,,,,,,i thought i will write on the reason that does not give me time to write :))OK that makes some sense though not fully ...
Well that's how i have been lately .....absent minded and totally in another world .....

The world of the Angelic Devil and the Little fairy .......

Angelic devil ...that would be my year and a half old son Rohit ....and ya you guys guessed it right the fairy would be none other than my Ammu ........

If he is the happy monkey on the tree top ...she would be the swan gliding along in the lake .....
If he is the prankster ...she is the target !!!
If he is the devil who smiles and makes u guilty for the stare you just gave him .....she is the one who gets stares and melts right where she stands with hurt showing in those round innocent eyes .....
IF he is the hunter ...she is the hunted !!!
If he gets hurt ,,,she suffers the pain :(
When he smiles showing his 6 stars (or tiny teeth ) ...she is the mirror that reflects it back ....
He is the martial arts Guru and she would be the ballerina.....
He ....a perfect manipulator ....She .....the badly manipulated ....
He is the bike rider ...she is the dancer .....
He .......noise , laughter , fun ........Yeah here they both are just the same ...

Well this is Rohit and Ammu for u .....the reason why i have become 10 years younger , the reason why i laugh more nowadays ...the reason why i again started ring-aring-a-roses and blind mans buff and hopscotch and skipping and so much more .....

They are gifts from GOD and they in turn have gifted me the best gift of all ......Return to Innocence

..

2010-02-14T22:29:00.001-08:00

The Great Vimala .....My maid ........

2010-02-07T22:18:00.000-08:00

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Long gone are the days when maids were like stars in the sky.......plenty .They stood silently on one side waiting for orders......they were totally satisfied people ......happy even if u gave them a smile .........

Ok now trying smiling at the one at ur home ......immediately she would come and sit with you and start up with madam u know what .... your neighbour ...she is sooo nice ....she gives me thousand rupees every month ( read it as ...and u ..good for nothing employer ...u give me so less ), then she gives me sarees for every occasion ( read as ...u can keep your old dresses to yourself ...i dont need them ....there is a new showroom down the street maybe u could get me one from there next time )...

I keep saying hmm ...hmm...and dont make eye contact .....

I interrupt her and tell her ...i think u should clean the windows more meticulously ....there are too many cobwebs in the corners ...and the bathrooms are not cleaned properly too ....also the vessels that you clean i need to clean again before i can use them .........Let me see improvement in next one month and then maybe i could give you a raise ...and i give her my most charming innocent smile .

I think God gave me powers to see the unseen ....can i see smoke coming out from vimalas ears and nostrils .....i even feel like she is kicking dirt and gathering power to rush to me and plough me down with her invisible horns .......

And i wait like a brave matador with the cleaning cloth in my hand and i give it to my raging vimala .She grabs it from my hand and walks off swaying like a pendulum ....the sway getting more furious to show her protest ......Like a mild earthquake ...ok destruction is soon to follow ........familyyyyyyy brace yourselfffffffff.......ruuuuunnnnnnnn.....

Then what followed was a demonstration of the various martial arts ......

If my windows were living ..they would have cried out in pain ....they were beaten black and blue ....one would wonder if she had a cloth or a sword in hand ....

Then my vessels were all tortured and mercilessly scraped with the scrub pad .......and ten thrown into the sink ......ouch ouch ........

My washed clothes waited with fear ...awaiting their turn in Vimalas torture chamber .....You know Vimala could put Hitler to shame ......Had Hitler had Vimala and the likes of her in his army ... he would be ruling this earth right now ...poor man wasted much in assembling an army and in the end killed himself ........Had he been wise enough to get a few Vimalas ...he would loose just a thousand rupees and a brand new sari for each ...che che shame ....

Ok vessels all tortured and bruised ......were stacked mecilessly one atop another .....like people squashed inside a gas chamber ........a wisp of air and they would all topple down liek a pack of cards.............

I then watched in horror and terror as my clothes were wrinnnnnnnged till they bled .......
Finally after beating and torturing the life out of every thing in my home ........Vimala walkd out triumphantly with a look that said .......Dont mess with me am a Hitler in my own right .....

My home was a battlefield of dying vessels and bleeding clothes and injured windows and i could only watch and moan the dead and the dying .......
But Vimala would come again tomorrow..........hmm i better visit the new showroom down street ..........

Ammu's stories............part 2 :).....Love letters and War

2010-01-30T21:53:00.000-08:00

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Hey guys .it's been long since i wrote anything about my little angel ........its simply because she keeps changing every second and i need to keep up .It's wonderful to see a little girl growing before your eyes . The changes are just fabulous,cant be described in words ....lovely .......touchwood...she is God's gift .

By the way thats Ammu and her lil bro Rohit in the pic

Nuha is still her best friend in school :) Though there r others too ..Aryan the total brat but a very good friend . HAHA its real crazy the stories about this guy ...Then there is Karun ...actually Karun is on the blacklist right now because he said he hates Nuha ... How dare he say that ...Ammu asked me with her typical round eyes shocked expression . And that too to me amma ,,,does he not know Nuha is my best friend . No i dont't like KArun and so thats final .....Nuha's enemy is my enemy too.........For a second i felt i was standing in Kargil or Some equally bad battlefield ...all the anger and the spirit and the declarations and wow ....am sure Ammu , Nuha and KArun would be selected into the Indian Army !!!

Then there are the dance classes ...Nuha goes for Jazz and Ammu for Folk dances. And they teach each other . Those are sessions to watch i say ....they could put a seasones dance teacher to shame ! hats off to you girls :)

This one takes the cake .....sorry forgot to mention it earlier ...Karun gave a Love Letter to Nuha !!! can u believe that they are just in 2nd standard ...We heard about love letters maybe in 8th grade !
Yeah that is the reason Karun waged war on Nuha because she did not repond to his letter :)) So now Karun hates Nuha and Nuha hates Karun and since Nuha hates Karun ,,,its quiet natural that Ammu hates him too ,which is exactly what she is doing .whew ...
Such loyalty should be rewarded .....
There is more to come guys wait and keep reading ;)

Me and my wisdom tooth ......ouch !

2010-01-26T01:20:00.000-08:00

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All you lucky people with ur wisdom tooth intact :) .......ya u guys are really lucky .
My wisdom tooth decided to disobey the natural rule that tooth should follow ....grow upwards....... Instead both my wisdom teeth rebelled without a cause and decided that they would grow downwards or sideways or ........as they wished ......OUCH !!!

When no medicines cured my ear aches and throat pain bouts ...it was diagnosed that my wisdoms were rebelling against me and that i would have to sacrifice them if i needed a pain free existance .......So with a heavy heart i decided to let go ........hmm the sacrifices we need to make ......
First took an x-ray ..mouth wide open till it could tear at the sides.........hmm u know ur pearly whites can look quiet ghastly in a x-ray ........
Then met a doctor .......this great doc is the only good part of this story ..........
He said ,"Ok sindhu we just need to pull it out ...no other option !" With a heavy heart i madethe final desicion .........both you rebels ...be gone !!! Then he added " we need to take out the upper two teeth too "
"Why for Gods sake .........no no no no 4 pearly whites to be sacrificed ..........."
Then dawned D-day or S-day ...sacrifice day ..........
Its a totally unpleasant experience ..........all the pokes and sawing , breaking , bleeding and pulling out my teeth in 4 to 5 pieces ...........:(
Now after 2 weeks am here with a part of my wisdom lost , unable to speak normally and worst of all HUNGRY ..........only soft diet for a week more boo hoo ..........
All u guys get your wisdoms checked .........and silently pray that they dont decide to rebel too .....

A Love Story ............

2010-01-18T20:28:00.000-08:00

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They loved each other with heart , body , mind and soul ......soul mates , friends they were everything to each other .......
One day there was a storm ....and they lost everything .......... and a voice from the sky said ....embark on a journey towards the east ....there a new future will rise for you just like the rising sun . But beware at every turn you will face a difficulty wherein the man shall be affected and the woman shall be given one wish by which you will gain something and she will loose the same ........If you are ready to face each turn you will reach your new destiny .....

She said lets start ....am there with you through anything my love .......... my wishes shall overcome your every difficulty . The man finally agreed and they started eastwards ........
At the first turn .......... A bandit attacked them and cut of his right arm .......... The woman wished for a new hand for her beloved but her wish did not come true ......then she remembered what the voice had said .......he would gain whatever she looses ........

And she wished ...........Let me loose my right arm !!! And immediately his arm was restored ..........
He said no beloved i cant sacrifice you for myself .....let us turn back .
She said NO we will continue .........A good future for you is a good future for me my love .
His eyes filled with tears and they continued ......

At every turn mishaps fell upon him ...........and she wished ............she kept loosing and he kept getting better and stronger ..........until finally she was deaf , blind , dumb and without arms and legs ..........yet she dragged on behind him ...a smile never failing her lips happy in the happiness of the one she loved .
He carried her along .........and began thinking .......what will i do with this thing .........she will be a burden to me .........how can i take care of her my whole life .........

Finally they reached the last turn of their journey................
There was a beautiful lady standing there with a huge pot of gold .....she said hey lucky man i am yours .....but you can have only one of us ........either the burden in your arms or me and my fortune .......
He did not think for a second ......he dropped her mercilessly on the ground and said ...........We have to end this my love ........i still love you but now you are just a burden to me .........

Her tears formed a river that made all the surroundings green and lush ........she cried ........just let me be somewhere near you ..........to just know that you are well ...........i will not be a burden i promise you my love ............... you need not love me or provide for me ......just let me be somewhere near you ............
He said no ........i need to live and continue a good life ........... You have nothing more to offer me , your sight makes me uncomfortable ......please go away and let me live ............
She said OK my love .........but let me make a final wish for you before i leave ..........He agreed .
She looked up at the sky and wished ........God let me loose my heart .
Immediately the skies darkened and it rained fire and water together .........The same voice said .........No my child think well ........ after you loose your heart you will not live for a second ........

She wished again ............I wish i loose my heart .
And immediately she fell lifeless on the ground at his feet .............. And suddenly his eyes filled with tears ...........she had a heart of gold , one that cared and loved and sacrificed selflessly .......now it was in him ........ he realised love , pain and his greatest loss .........

He looked up and shouted and cried ...........no no give it back to her .........
But it was too late .....she was gone ............forever .............
But her wishes and her heart of love gave him a good life ahead ........... he could never forget her ......... her love and her ultimate sacrifice ................

A Second Chance ......

2010-01-18T06:29:00.000-08:00

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A second chance …………..

For those out there who don’t believe in God , for those out there who take life for granted ……read on ….a frightening incident that changed my outlook of life forever …..
This happened about a year ago . It was 3 months after my son was born . My mother , elder daughter ammu and me ..ofcourse with little Rohit in my mothers arms went for some shopping to a new store that had opened in our locality .

After we were done with the buying we proceeded to the billing counter . Since there was a crowd of people waiting to use the lift we decided to use the stairs . what we did not notice was how slippery the stairs were with the fresh polishing and the stylised round edges . My mother had been carrying the baby in her arms for quiet sometime now . Thinking it would be difficult for her to climb down the Long flight of stairs with him I took him from her arms . Holding him carefully and tightly … as I was always scared since he was so tiny …I kept my foot on the first stair . ..............
To my horror my leg slipped ......
I franctically tried to grab hold of the railing but fate decided otherwise and my hand too slipped on the slippery polished railing . The next five or ten seconds I don’t remember much , only that I was horrified and had only one thought in my mind . ....
There is a baby in my arms , my god the baby , am falling with the baby . A three month old had no chance of survival if he slipped and fell from my arms or worse still if while I tumbled down he got crushed beneath my weight ……..
I remember people screaming all around me , my mother voice , Ammus voice and many frightened horrified screams all around me . I do not know till date how I was able to keep sane at that moment ………presence of mind , I enveloped him fully inside my arms and twisted this way and that so that he did not touch the ground and that I don’t fall on him ……….It seemed never ending , the fall .
I was not sure for how long I could protect him , when suddenly a guy came rushing up the stairs and caught me and broke the fall !
I kept screaming my baby my baby , and the guy said ,” Mam he is all right , even a hair on his head has not been harmed “ . Rohit cried terribly but that was out of shock .
And then I looked up and saw to my horror that I had fallen down fifteen steps and there were still a few more , which I would have definitely fallen if not for that guy who saved me .
After that what happened was equally scary , little Ammu terrifed at what happened rushed down the stairs screaming !!! If she had lost her balance or her foothold then I cant imagine what would have happened .
I can never forget the look on my mothers face as she rushed down and took the baby from my arms and just hugged me for sometime ………. Her face white with fright , speechless but her eyes spoke of a million emotions all at once .

Later on she told me that what hurt her most was the fright and the helplessness and the agony that would have passed through my mind as I was falling ……and how it would have multiplied a hundred times over since I had the baby in my arms ………only a mother could understand that …..

This incident changed my whole outlook of life …….
I was given a second chance , to live my life .
I realized that life is not something we should take for granted .
What would have happened if instead of me my mother had fallen ………. She asked me this later ……..she said that if she had fallen with the baby in her arms Rohit would have definitely crashed down on the stairs …….
I was given a chance to protect a life that I had brought into this world ……… or was he send to protect me …..is that why after so many hours in my mothers arms he reached my arms seconds before I fell ……..
So many questions and answers flashed through my mind after this .
It gave me proof that there is an unseen force somewhere protecting us …..giving us second chances , teaching us that Life is beautiful and never to be taken for granted .

Till that day I always felt others were so lucky , that God kept forgetting me . But after that day I know I am among the luckiest few …….because there is no greater gift that life itself . And I had got it not once but twice ……. That in that huge crowd of people God had noticed me just when I needed him the most and held my hand and given me the strength to not let go of a life that I held in my arms .
He had given me a chance to do what he did for me …….. protect and love and give life ………
Till today I have not overcome my fright of stepping down staircases and even now sometimes I freeze while using stairs and then it takes me a moment to regain my senses that things will be fine ……….and I dread to think of what could have happened …….if Rohit had slipped from my hands .

And how can I forget that man who came rushing to my help , when others were frozen to their spots in fright …..If not for him ……..I do not know ………
He put himself in danger for me a complete stranger . He could have slipped himself and hit his head real bad …….but he risked all that for me a total stranger .
If he ever reads this blog I want to convey that I cant give anything in return since what he did for me cannot be equaled by money or words . But I owe my life to him and I cannot thank him enough … Thank you wherever you are .

A second chance …………… Am lucky to have got it .

will be back soon ...............

2009-10-14T01:20:00.001-07:00

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hey all mu friends out there ......it is like heaven to be back here :))
My Ammu has a little brother now ...rohit ....a year and 4 months now . He has been keeping me on my toes guys ........ But now planning to start blogging again very soon ..................pl visit .......thanks and bye for now

Ammu's first phone call !!!!!

2007-12-13T23:11:00.000-08:00

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Hey guys it has been a long time since i wrote about ammu .....so here it is .......
Last evening Ammu made her first phone call to her friend and classmate Noha (yeah the little one from their gang of four and whom ammu calls Muuha hahaha ) .
Well suddenly she came up to me and asked sweetly " Amma can i call my friend Muha , please " with the most angelic face and smile ...and naturally i agreed .

She herself dialled the number .......i told her how to start the conversation ...
Ring ring ring .and then someone picked .....and u should have seen the change on hr face her eyes twinkled as if a thousand starts shone in them ..........
"Hello can i speak to Muha ...... I am Meenakshi "

Slight wait with happiness drippin from those round eyes .........
"Hi MUHAAAAAAAAAAA .....small giggles .......hi what are you doing .again giggles and more typical girly giggles .........i am playing ........."
Suddenly she asked me " Amma now what do i say "............i told her to ask her if she had finished studying for the next days exam and what she drew for her drawing exam .........
"Muha whatdid you draw ???"
heheheh again giggles and happy eyes shining ...

"Did you read "

Then i took the phone from her since she did not know what else to speak , and on the other end Noha /Muha was telling " Meenakshi please speak to my grandmother "
So i gave the phone to ammu and she said " Hello .........I am fine , how are you ...."
Again at a loss of words , so i again took the phone .........
The Noha's mom took our number too so that Noha cud call Ammu when she wanted ....

So i guess that is a start to a daily dose of " Hello Muha what are you doing " and i guess our phone bills will be a bit more higher from now :)))

Ammu has grown ......enough to make her own phone calls !!! and gone is the little baby who cried non stop for 10minutes when the phone bell rang !!!

Movie or Logic ?

2007-12-11T20:53:00.001-08:00

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If you choose the movie u can surely enjoy it , but if u choose to hunt for logic in the story then u better sit at home and dont waste ur time and money to go to the theater .
Recently we went for a Hindi movie Om Shanti Om ........before we went we got a lot ...and i mean a lot of opinions , comments , appraisals , criticism etc etc etc . Come on guys we are going for a movie to have some entertainment , please dont spoil it wih these talks .And well all people are not the same ...all have their own views and opinions that is ok , but thrusting it on all around u opps no !!!
These are some of the comments we got ........How can farah khan (the director )stoop so low and make such horrible movies , u definitely should not see it (well i guess that ismy wish , or is it my wish )
Another one was the movie is toooooooooooooooooo good go watch it today now (pl get me the tickets i wud surely go ) and he proceeded to tell me the story too and spoiled allthe suspense .
This one takes the cake ...........HMMph " Sharukh Khan looks like the heroines father , he is so old why cant he sit at home ?!""" How dare she how dare she , insulting one of the best stars in the film worl sharukh khan my hero ..........................how dare she ?

Well guys when you go to watch a movie go for the fun of it , not to criticise or comment or compare .........hello it is just a movie not a reality show (well that is also made up these days ) .........
When u were small and ur parents told you bed time stories did you ask so many questions , did you compare no no you just listened with big eyes filled with wonder , sadness , joy , anxiety , fear ....................well that is the best way to enjoy a story ...............
Go on laugh loud , cry , shout at the villain , tease the clown , have fun ..........well that is entertainment for you and havent you heard .................there should be no questions in a story .............

Where is the dress ???

2007-12-10T20:03:00.000-08:00

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Manoj and ammu and me went to shop for dresses for our little princess . We got into one of the most reputed shops since we always want the best for our angel .
As we got in the CRE directed us with a wish and a smile to the ladies and Kids section .
So off we went to the 2nd floor .
I particularly liked one section and all the dresses especially the skirts were perfect for Ammu (my little daughter of 5 years ) . Wow i jus loved these dresses .I asked manoj what he thought about it and he said whew the kind of fashions these kids have now ....i remember when we were kids we had only the tight shorts and a breath taking (as tight was the fashion ) t shirt or cotton shirts with huge collars and used to be buttoned till the top .Yeah i agreed we too had very less choice ...we had either midi skirts with drab tops or frilly dainty frocks with belts .Wow Ammu was lucky she had so much choice in ...........jeans , lycra , cotton ,linen , denims wow the list was endless .
But the tops were particularly oversize ....Manoj grumbled dont these guys have any sense how can they stitch like this skirts all perfect size and all tops are wrongly sized .........and look at the prize wow i can buy a whole wardrobe with the cost of this one dress ..i thought

We decided to voice our opinion to one of the sales people standing there ....

Suddenly he started laughing ...mam you are in te ladies section ...........
WHAT !!!!!

Where are the dresses for ladies you have only kiddy wear here ...Manoj said .

No sir this is the latest collection of ladies mini skirts .............
I was shocked .....what ! is this what you show for a child , what if she grew up and decided she wanted to wear such atrocious dresses or what is left of them by the time she grew up ??!?!?!?!?!?!

Nowadays they dont have experienced tailors ..........we discussed they just waste all the cloth while cutting and then they stitch these tinnnny dresses .And they charge the rate of 2 churidars for one wrongly stitched dress whew .........

maybe i should start a tailoring school now and teach people that they need to cut off minimum cloth rather than what they do now CUT OFF MAXIMUM CLOTH AND STITCH FROM WHATEVER IS LEFT !!!!!!

Cycling in Chennai ...........

2007-12-10T19:41:00.000-08:00

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In Chennai or Madras where i stay cycles = Tanker Lorries ??? Well that is what the cyclist thinks about it anyway ..........
Chennai cyclists are a real menace on the roads .....just like hiding gueirilla warriors , you dont really know when one will pounce on you .
Well hello the cycle is hardly a few kilos and a knock by even a bike would make you and your cycle a pilot and airplane and throw you to the other end of the road !!!
But no use the cyclist still rides his cycle with the same arrogance of a truck driver , Right in the middle of the road !!!! can u believe it ..........
At signals he just holds on to any vehicle near him and rests till the light goes green and then speeds and swerves and twists and turns in between vehicles double the size !!!!!

Well i told Manoj once we should have separate routes for cyclists and they should not be allowed on main roads with heavy traffic .......manoj agreed to it immediately and told me that i could bring this rule into practise as soon as became the senior traffic police or whoever was responsible for that ...:)

And the worst is they come and scratch your car from all sides tear off the paint and fight with you as if u were the one who went and bumped into him ....how arrogant .

Well maybe i will make a union like Human Rights Activists Against Rash Cyclists ....HRAARC ,
or maybe The Cycle Haters ....TCH ,or maybe Society For Prevention of Cruelty To Motorists ...SPCM ...........YES I SHOULD SERIOUSLY THINK ABOUT IT !!!

Then maybe i could use a crane and tow away rash cyclists and earn myself the name of Crane Sindhu ( Just like Crane Kiran Bedi ...the fearless police officer who towed away even the then Prime Minister Indira gandhi's car for wrong parking !!! wow i love that lady )
Wow Crane Sindhu and the daily newspaper would have photos of me towing rash arrogant cyclists with my trademark crane or tow truck (that wud make me Tow Sindhu ...no does not sound good , so i better stick to the crane ) and they would be yelling and pleading to be left off but i would lock them up till they learnt safe cycling ...good

So let me stop writing and not waste any more time ..........am off to start the Crane Union Against Rash Cyclists ...........CUARC ........yeah i proclaim myself the Vice President of the union and all those who are against rash cycling can join me ...................

We want all of you to know !!!!!

2007-12-10T19:36:00.000-08:00

Waiting for the little one .............wow such an amazing feeling and thank God for giving it to me a second time ........
Manoj and i are expecting our second little one somewhere in June !!!
The person most excited about it is Ammu our daughter of 5and 1/2 years ..........she hs even made shopping plans , list of games she will play , how she will take care ......and on and on the list is endless ...
So come soooooon little one we are all waiting especially Ammu chechi (chechi = sister ) .........

The madam on Nails :)) ........................

2007-12-09T20:05:00.000-08:00

This is quite different from my earlier blogs ..............This blog is based on an incident i witnessed some time back ......though it has been dramatised to give more effect BUT the base is The truth , Only the truth and Nothing but the truth ..............

As i walk past a reputed cosmetics retail outlet .....a posh car pulls over and out comes a Madam with her stilettos giving an impression that she is being punished and made to walk on nails ........as she carefully and with utmost talent balances herself on those pinpointy nails ................ opps sorry heels (she would put any circus person to shame ..........shame on u you tight rope walker , do u know how much more talent you need to walk on nails / heels ...whatever ) .......

As madam slowly adjusts her sun glasses ( or rather windows covering her face to hide the after effects of a new cream in market ...........see we need to sue cosmetic companies for making humans guinea pigs )
yeah so where were we.................... yeah adjusting her windows sorry glasses ...hello it is 6 o'clock where is the sun ??
Oh shame on me maybe she has a sore eye or maybe a squint or maybe she is blind ...........I think the last option would be more correct going by the way she was dressed she would definitely positively be blind ...........Maybe a swim suit would be more covering and decent !!???

So as our poor blind heroine walked with her behind putting a pendulum to shame ..........leeeeeeft riiiiight ..............etc my eyes and feet followed her into the shop (needed strepsils for a sore throat and also just eye the new cosmetics (yeah guinea pig No.2) .............

So where were we .......yeah inside the shop now ...............
As madam touched the door the Security guard jumped to his feet and rushed to the door and pulled it wide open (and loosened its mechanism ) and said " Welcome madam " to her legs that showed below her Mini skirts ............must close the tailoring shop , see how he took advantage of the fact that madam was blind and stole some of the cloth she gave him
....that is why madam did not have enough cloth to finish her skirt !!!!!!!!

Yeah the security with mouth dribbling like a dog and eyes and all senses following her legs and behind ...........ouch he almost let my nose get smashed by leaving the door .
So our pendulum walked around as our securities eyes got glued to her benind and forgot there was a door and there were customers and there was me whose way he was blocking .......?!?!?!

Suddenly i saw a push pull (no not the train Pushpull ) ......a pushing and a pulling among the male customer service people as to who would serve Madam Pendulum ......Finally after the Victory and survival of the fittest a lean mean guy walked upto her and almost fell at her feet to say hello madam can i be of ANY assistance ?
Immediately Madam pendulum raised her glasses to her head and smileeeeeeeeeed at him ....thus succesfully flattening him below her nails or heels or whatever ......(and proving to me that she was not blind ........so i concluded that she did not have a mirror in her home )

She said Yes ...actually i was looking for a certain cream that my friend referred to me but i have forgotten its name ..............
Immediately Mr.Fall Flat : Ooooo mam you are very beautiful as it is anyway i can show you the best creams in the shop
MP: Thank you .....batting of eyelids followed ??!!! or did i feel that ???
FF : Mam this is the newest in the market It is called Ponds Age Miracle costs only 600 odd something
MP: with an offended angry pout .........Am not that old you know how could you insult me ?
FF : Oh god sorry mam ....stupid smile ........Sorry am extreeemely sorry ....again stupid smile ............(but a born salesman that he is he carried on .......) See mam nowadays due to pollution even children and new born babies get wrinkles ..............
(Newborn babies and children ?!?!?!?! wow lemme go home and check if ammu has wrinkles she plays a lot in the mud and sun )

Yeah mam i did not want your pretty face to get wrinkled so i suggested this ....havent you heard " Prevention is better than Cure "
MP: Oo yes that is true ....Ok i will take that

There went the Ponds Age Miracle into the little blue plastic basket that FF carried with love for her highness .

FF : Mam have you tried the Face wash from Ponds (Guess he loved that brand )
MP: No what is so great about it
FF: It makes your skin clean mam no pimples no black heads , no oily patches
MP : Oh all products say the same ...................
FF: Noo mam this product is the In Thing now i think u should pamper your beautiful skin and let it glow

So in went the wash into the blue basket ...and so it continued with FF eyeing madam with lusty eyes and letting his imagination to run wild about more minute details ............

Finally after 5 such baskets were full Pendulum said Oh nooo i did not get the cream i came for
FF: What is it mam
MP: Crack cream for cracked heels
FF: Mam come on u dont expect me to believe you have cracks on those pretty feet (hey anybody wants Flirting lessons come to Mr.Fall Flat )
MP: Nooo i can show it to you and Madam pendulum dainlty raises her leg while trying to balance on one nail (wow again shame on u shame shame u circus guys ) .........see i told youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu.......

Before anything or anybody could do something Miss .Pendulum came crashing down on Mr.Fall Flat who in turn fell actually flat on the nearby shelf of Aroma Oils and shampoos and creams ..................
The store manager , the security , the other CREs and many other customers came rushing like a storm ...........yeah Mr.FF is gonna get it now i thought for being so Madam bound that he forgot his responsibilities .............

But as i stood with open mouth and shock and trying hard to control my laughter ............all these people ..........least bothered about the broken goods worth more than thousands of rupees all were trying to help Madam P to her feet as she lay sprawled in 4 directions her blue baskets all crushed and her nailed sandals in 2 different directions hands like waving flags and legs like that of a cat trying to get a grip on a polished flooring .......................

Finally Miss.P managed to get up and i saw contented faces all around of having the luck to touch her once as if a crowd waiting to get a touch of some Super Duper Hollywood star ...............:)

God i think the happiest person was Mr.FF on whom Miss.P lay flat for so much time ...........

What about the broken bottles the strewn cosmetics the ouch so many broken stuff ..........That is ok we will arrange ...............Then after a rush to gather up Miss.Ps cosmetics and her Crack cream Miss P walked off swinging and as daintily as she came ....but this time with a limp as one of her nails/heels had broken in the melee ......sun glasses in place and nails and heel and broken heel clip clopping on te polished floor ................

And suddenly the open mouths , the sheepish grins ,the courteous behaviour all vanished and was replaced by screaming and yelling and frantic gathering of scaterred cosmetics and reprimanding Mr.FF for being so careless
(Mr.FF was still dazed by all that happened and stood gazing at the door as if searching for water in a desert without even an oasis )

...................God see you tailors and cosmetics companies ............see what your short skirts and tight tops and cosmetics is bringing the world too these days .....................

Anyway i came out of the shop just in time to see Madam Pendulum being ticketed for wrong parking ( by a leg eyeing pot bellied cop ........) and after the bribing with cash and smile in kind ........she sped away nearly knocking down a poor bystander who was mesmerised by her lonnnnnnng legs and swaggering limping walk and sunglasses /windows and so many other things or assessts ............

Gosh the problems caused by Mini skirts and cosmetics and roaming eyes .....................dont know what else to write and No i did not try to find out what was happening inside the shop as they had put down half the shutter with cLOSED FOR THE dAY BOARD !!

Name Slaughter .....................

2007-12-09T19:35:00.001-08:00

http://bloginterviewer.com/randomness/read-on-sindhu-manoj

A particular blog got me thinking ...........about names !!! of all things and more so about Slaughter of names ....................yeah that is a degree which we indians excell in and all pass with only distinctions !!! Wow .........

In a land of diversity where religions and people are like stars in the sky ................Names too are like stars which we manage to change to comets or meteors or planets as we wish .....
I have a cousin who has been named Nandakumar ....and people in Delhi managed to make him Nanda Kumar .....before they could make him from Mr. to Ms. he changed his spelling from NandAkumar to Nand Kumar ......so much for whats in a name ??

We need not say about how Bobby Deol becomes Bhabi Deol ( is Dharam saabs wife into acting too ?) and how Arnold Shwarzenegger becomes Arnoold Sivashankar ..........(seems arnold was impressed with hinduism and decided to change !?

And also how Meenakshi ( my daughter ) became MeenaCHHI in Madras .......and i painfullt taught her to correct all the people who called her MeenaCHI ............yeah she corrects them nowadays unknown to the fact that by the time she turns hr back she becomes MeenaCcHHI again, this time with more force to compensate for the insult of being corrected .

All the Kaurs become Kowrs (Cow with an R ) and the Singhs become Sings (as in born singers )
and and how Pinto s became Pintu (as in Chintu , bantu and mintu ) ,.................

South Indians are specially good and excell with A+ in this category .............Some of the P.Hds are ..........
Paamela becoming Pamaelaa ( as in Karela ) , Gautham becomes Gehudham (the H is wisely said silently ) and all the inanimate objects too are not left at peace ...........
Cassettes become Kyaasett , and Hall becomes Haal and ouch the list is endless............

The list is endless as i said Rajesh to Raayesh and Ramesh to Remessh in the south or Ramesss (the s comes out with a vengeance ) in the north , Aditya Pancholi became Aadithya Puncholi (yesh as in punch only) or Addityaa Panjoli ..........how Ganga becomes Gungaaa or Gengka or worse Gangaa ..................
How Sindhu became Sindu and How Menon (May...non) became Menen ( sorry not Melon
) ..............

So next time u hear a name make sure u heard it right and u heard it right ............else i would call upon Urnolld Sivasanker and Yes sir Arafart and also Nelsun Munn dela and also call upon Quuun Elisa bath and Prince Chaals and also the Kisnas and the Lallu Prashads to come and teach u pro-noun-cia-tion of namesss ...............wokayyyyyyy !!!

A ODE to Vijaya Aunty ............Immortal in our Minds .

2007-09-16T21:00:00.001-07:00

http://bloginterviewer.com/randomness/read-on-sindhu-manoj

A REQUEST TO ALL THOSE WHO READ THIS ...PLEASE READ IT FULLY .THAT IS THE ONLY WAS I CAN SHOW MY RESPECT TO THIS GREAT SOUL .... it is a bit lengthy but words are not enough to write about my" Aunty "

On Saturday 15th September 2007 .......fate created yet another vacuum in my life ..........It took away yet another part of my life .....yet another close one ......gave yet another proof that we cant change fate and that nothing is permanent ..............

Aunty ................ that word would not do justice to her but that is what i called her .
"Aunty " to my husband and me and " Amuma " (grandmother ) to my little one Ammu .

I am a tenant in her home for the past 4 and 1/2 years ........... but never felt that way .
The day i came to that house she was not there , had gone to her native .But my husband told me (when i was crying uncontrollably since i was separated from my parents ) ,dont worry here too u will have them just wait a week , Uncle and Aunty will be back .

After a week when i heard they had come i rushed down to meet them on the way to office ......and i saw her for the first time ...Vijaya Aunty......... .in her traditional white malayali "set mundu " .......a single white stone nose ring , a gold bangle with a green glass bangle and a red one , and a big red kumkum bindi on her forehead .........a very traditional grandmother and uncle tall with a very accepting smile .......and i knew it instantly ..that i was not far from my parents ...God had given them to me in another form ..
The acceptance was almost immediate on both sides .
Then there was Murali chettan (chettan = brother ) and his family .they too accepted me very fast .
And suddenly all the hurt , the desperation of being torn away from my parents and my native melted away ........... I was at Home .
She loved Ammu and there was not a day she spent without asking about her ....infact my Ammu has grown more in front of her than my parents ........She fought with her , played with her , taught her silly songs like " Boogie man , Boogie Man ......" and Appam chuttu ".............
Ammu never felt that she was away from grandparents ........Ammuma and Appopa were always there .
Aunty cared like a mother , taught like a teacher , scolded and corrected like a guide , worried for us more than ourselves , became upset whenever we had problems , and rejoiced when we were happy .....just like a child .............
I remember her pearly whites all well set and in a perfect line that she would flash when she smiled her most amazing open hearted smile ............A perfect proof of her pure clean heart ....that knew only to Give , to Care , to share , to accept and nurture .
I have heard several stories many incidents about her ...and in each one of it She would be on the giving end .......god had given her hands to give give and give ...and she gave till the day she left us .............
When i was sick she would enquire and keep check every hour , send me food and made me feel like am with my parents .......
I can never be alone ....it is almost like a phobia .........immediately i get depressed and upset also am too attached to my parents and always miss them ..................It is like she sensed this without my telling her ,,,,,,,,,,,, whenever i was alone she would call me down and i would spend time with her and it made me feel much better ...........
When u entered her home she would be sitting on the sofa near the door and she would welcome u as if she was seeing u after many years ..........with so much energy and genuine happiness ..........
There is so much to write but .maybe more on another day .

But suddenly on that fateful day she left us suddenly ..........leaving behind such a huge vacuum .........that nobody or nothing can fill ...............
As her son Manoj chettan said we are looking for excuses to fill in the vacuum ......but he knows and we all know it can never fill up now .......because she was one of her kind .there is no other Vijaya aunty ...........there is noone like her ..........and there will never be anyone like her .......

Even yesterday when i entered her home i first checked the sofa and prayed that a miracle happens and i see her sitting there and smiling her welcome smile .........
When i was up and i heard all the people talking i strained my ears to here that happy sound ............( in all gatherings and get togethers her energy was the most) ............ but i did not hear it ............
Now she will not ask me anything , she will not enquire anything , she will not send me food when i am sick , she will not teach crazy songs to my ammu , she will not take a walk in that corridor with her brown walking stick , she will not chant hymns while counting beads on her green bead chain which always ammu would take and put around her neck ...........she will not call out to uncle " Mani etta motor off cheyyu " (switch off the motor ) ........
She will not tell me stories and incidents about her young days , her car adventures when her close friend Seema was learning driving and her Best friend lakshmi aunty ............
her sons and their families will leave maybe in a weeks time and they would take uncle with them ....it is better he is not alone .............
If my grief is so much how much pain would he be going through ...................... don't even want to think about it ......
When they all go I will be alone ............ that house would not be same without aunty .....that sofa would be empty the table would be empty without her tissue box , her medicines , her water jug .................
i know it is silly but am still praying for a miracle to happen and when i go down she would be there on her sofa ...welcoming me just the way my mother does ...............and singing with ammu ........
" Boogie man , Boogie man .....
Ammukuttyye ppidichiko............ "" (boogie man an imaginary character being called to come and catch ammu ......and ammu would scream no no )
Her old but energetic mischievious voice stills rings in my ears ............

Aunty .........i miss u , always loved u , U can never be replaced by anyone .........i can never forget u , But i can do one thing ( I have never done anything for her till date .........) i can keep her alive in my mind and silently respect that great soul ..........and I have written and i earnestly pray that ......people all around the world read this and know the great person with the pearly white smile ......who always gave and cared .....for whom the doors of heaven would always be open ..........My Vijaya Aunty ...........everybodys Vijaya Aunty ...........She did not expire she has become Immortal and will live forever in our hearts and mind and soul .

Another request to all readers .........please leave your comments on this BLOG and let them be my Flowers of respect that i place at her feet .....................

Allthe lads and lasies are as sweet as Sugar candies ..................

2007-09-05T05:15:00.000-07:00

Remember this sweet poem from our childhood days ??? Wow i miss it so much ...my chidhood , the games , the fights , the pranks , the friends and enemies ........so much .....

Remember the Hide and seek games we played ..where the seeker would look slyly through a hole in his closed eyes ......and immediately shrieks and cries of "cheater cheater " would fill the air !!!!

Then colour colour which colour do u want ( all said in a sing song manner ) and once the person said the colur all ran helter skelter to touch that colour else u would be caught .......my god the excitement .........and especially the girls screechin loudly as they ran to touch hahahaha

Seven stones .....wherein seven flat stones were kept one on top of the other and there were 2 teams and one team had to throw a ball and drop the stack and the other would run to catch them and one person had to try to stack it back .......

Hmm in the pond and on the bank was another favourite ........where u hopped between 2 big circles which were the pond and the bank ......according to what the person said Hmm then treasure hunts were a hot favourite too ............... and of course parents were horrified to see mud plastered kids at their door steps .

Playin house was so much fun and green leaves smashed for curry and stones were rice and empty coconut shells were vessels .......also stealthily got talcum powder made milk and grains and spices were different dishes .............pencil cuttings too made a delicious dish if i remember .

Then STATUE hahaha those were hilarious when we prtended to be statues and u could nt shake or smile or turn and if u did u had to do whatever punishment was decided .......

Cool games miss them so much ......actually extinct games ..........our children dont even know them ......now all they know are Mr.bean and Power rangers etc ........

Come on all u elders take up the responsibility teach them games and ring them out of the world of television and violence and artificial nonsense ...........................

Onam .......The Festival Of Flowers and Harvest and Colurs

2007-08-23T21:27:00.000-07:00

Onam ........the word itself brings Nostalgic memories .......Of Poo kalams (Flower carpets in traditional round shapes .with multicoloured hues ...), of little girls in silk full skirts and ladies in the traditional cream neeriyasari (the traditional malayali sari with the gold border ) and sweet white jasmines in their hair ........men in mundu or dhotis and new shirts .............wow so fresh so happy so colurful .............................

Long long long ago there lived a demon king Mahabali ....... king of a very prosperous , rich , happy kerala ....very generous , just , powerful , brave , intelligent and virtuous .........he did not have one bad quality that anyone could point out , Young and old alike loved him and there was not a soul in the land who was unhappy ........so fine a king was he ...

So good was he that the Gods felt threatened that a demon would be more loved than Gods by humans .......so they decided to send him away but even they did not have a reason to punish him ..........................The Gods then decided to approach Lord Vishnu to help them out ......and he did this ;

He dressed up as Vamanan a small brahmin boy .......and went to Mahabali the next day morning . Mahabali had a great virtue of giving others whatever they asked him .nobody ever returned empty handed from his court .

When Mahabali saw Vamanan he welcomed him with utmost happiness and respect and asked him what he could do for him ........Then Vamanan told him i need 3 steps of land for myself .The poor unsuspecting mahabali told him is that all revered one u could ask for more ....But Vamanan said no that is all i want ..So Mahabali agreed and called his people to measure out land for him . But Vamanan said No i want the land according to my 3 feet ..............this too mahabali agreed ......and then he saw the most astonishing sight .

Vamanan increased in size and became towering and almost touched the sky ........with one feet he covered all the land and with the other the heavens and skies ..............he then said now i have no place for the third feet .......u have promised me 3 feet of land now how will u keep your promise .............And Mahabali just smiled ...............He said When Mahabali makes a promise he keeps it too here you can keep the third feet on my head and take me too .......He bend low down and Vamanan kept the third feet on Mahabalis head and stamped him down to the underworld thus taking over the skies the earth and the underworld ...............

The Gods felt they had tricked him but actually Mahabali had knowingly given up everything .........since he believed in Giving and sharing ...............

Thus ended the saga of the Greatest kings who ever ruled Kerala .....It recalls the sacrifice of the great king, his true devotion to God, his human pride and his ultimate redemption. This king once ruled over the Keralites during the Golden Age before caste existed, "when all men were equal, when no one was poor, when there was neither theft nor dread of thieves" (Maveli natu vanitum kalam... Manusharellam onnu pole ... ). But after he went his people lost their smiles , their goodness and all was sad and black .............and the Gods regretted their action ..........

Then Lord Vishnu called on Mahabali again and told him about his ........he asked if he could visit his people once every year for 10 days .......... to just make sure that they well and prosperous .........and ..........that is what Onam is all about ..................All the year the Keralites work hard and then comes the 10 days of celebrations and Welcoming of Mahabali .............

It is believed that he visits every home in these 10 days and checks out all the people rich and poor alike ...........So people lay out the flower carpet called "Athappookkalam" in front of houses, from the first day of 'Atham' to the tenth day of 'Thiruvonam' is part of the festivities, which is a symbolic gesture to welcome King Mahabali.

Onam is a great time to be in Kerala, as this beautifully lush green region combines a celebration of its warring and seafaring traditions with festivities honouring the ancient asura king Mahabali,

Kaikottikkali is a folk dance form performed by the women all over the State during Onam with clapping of hands by the performers. Pulikkali (meaning tiger dance) is performed by men on the streets and visiting houses wearing masks resembling tigers, lions and other animals in return for which they are showered with gifts. Vallomkali is another cultural activity during the Onam time which is very popular in the plains with access to the backwaters. In this, snake boats(called chundan volloms) manned by terms of around a hundred oarsssmen from neighbouring local villages, rowing to the rhythms of cymbals and drums, race in thrilling contests at Aranmula, Champakulam and Kottayam in Kerala.

The earthen mounds representing Mahabali and Vishnu are placed in the dung-plastered courtyards in between the pookalams . Traditional rituals are performed followed by a lavish feast called 'Sadhya'. Onam also means new clothes for the whole family, sumptuous home-cooked delicacies on plantain leaf and the lingering aroma of the sweet Payasam.

But now Onam is being commercialised as is not as it was .............People are scaterred all over the world and dont get leaves or holidays to go and celebrate the grand festival . In the past people young and old and men and women alike would get up at 4 in the morning and bathe and go to the temple and then all together get into the kitchen to prepare the Ona Sadya or the Onam feast .....nowadays it is ordered from caterers who deliver the feast items to ur doorstep ...........

The new generation would not know even who was Mahabali or what is the significance of this 10 days grand festival ........Let the older generations take up the responsibility of spreading the goodness and knowledge and traditions and keep the lamp burning .....................

I have written a very small blog on Onam but there is so much more to write ........u could read it on several sites related to Onam ....just search for Onam or Kerala ......

Wishing all Readers a Happy Onam may the year be filled with Prosperity , Colour , health , happiness and abundance of goodness ................

Dear Tooth Fairy .............

2007-08-01T21:46:00.000-07:00

Dear tooth fairy ........... Today the 2nd of August 2007 ......my little ammu has lost her first tooth !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now she is walking around with a small hole in front and and giving everyone a toothless grin ...... :))) .I told her the story about the Tooth fairy ...........that if she covers her tooth in a piece of paper and keeps it under the pillow along with a letter to the tooth fairy ......then the tooth fairy will take her tooth when she is asleep give her sweet dreams and keep a gift of her choice in return for the tooth ...........

This is my little Ammu's letter written in shaky alphabets that she is just learning to write .....

DEAR TOOT FAIRY ...HERS IS MY TTOOT ...PLEASE TAK IT AND GIVE ME SWEET DREAMS AND COLUR PENS IN RETURN ............

Today night my ammu will sleep happily ..first for bravely loosing a tooth and secondly eagerly awaiting morning so that she will jump up and check under her pillow and take her gift which i will keep there at night .............am her tooth fairy her mother and her best friend .......Today even am sleeping with a prayer .......Let me be her fairy with the magic to give her whatever her little heart desires..................

Dear tooth fairy grant me my wish .........i dont have any tooth to offer but i have emmense faith in you as my little one ...............

Good night ............Sweet Dreams !!!!!!!

Dance of Life

2007-07-30T20:53:00.000-07:00

Don't u think dance and life are very similar ....very related ........very .......same ?

A good Life is a perfect synchronisation and balance of good sense , thoughts , moral incidents , determination , will power , positive thinking , planned steps , sight , hearing and implementing .

Just like a good dance is a perfect balance of rhythm and all of the above said virtues ......

If one beat goes wrong or one instrument plays the wrong note the dancer trips or looses a step

Just like in life when one of our calculations goes wrong or expectations are crushed by fate or bad incidents then we trip too and loose a step in our calculated life .....

Here is where the challenge comes in .......in both dance and life .....

A bad dancer would be shocked or angry or frustrated and just stop dancing or leave the stage ...and maybe even complain and curse the musicians ............giving no room for improvement or a chance to the musicians to correct the wrong note ....

A good dancer ...who is well versed in his or her talent knows exactly how to cope with the wrong note or the missed stanza or the off beat instrument .........he changes the steps or skips it to go along with the beat and then stands firm after getting himself and the musicians on track ...........

And remember he or she does all this in such a critical situation with a smile that never fades from the face .....so that the audience watches only his expressions or smile and never even notices the mistakes ...........................

Similarly a person can deal with life too in both the above said ways .......

Either he can be frustrated , angry and so upset that he does nothing but blame the Supreme Musician .........GOD and leave his life or spoil it by just mourning over his past and ruining his future ...............

He can take it with a smile , as a learning experience and try and sort it out by thinking of ways and solutions to rectify the wrong note ........that is many a times put there purposely by the Creator to just check out .how much u have learnt , how much u have absorbed and how much faith u have in his judgement .........

have faith and go on with a smile and u see that GOD is never wrong and your life will be set back in track with the Perfect Melody and Balance .................

So polish your dancing skills and live a Perfect Life ......................

The Underprivileged

2007-07-28T00:16:00.000-07:00

Many a times we think .....oh God why am i so unlucky , why cant i have that , why is god so cruel to me , why why why ????????

But atleast once did u think in this way .....My goodness am so Lucky that i have atleast this much ..............Look at these photos then u will never complain again ........

Do u stand like this in a line to get one morsel of food ............Did u know that every 4 seconds a child dies of hunger !!!! And u say u don't get enough after stuffing ur mouth with 2 burgers , one pastry and a can of coke .

The UN Children’s Fund says one billion children live in poverty .........when u were a child how many dresses , how many toys , how many school bags u changed ....make a list and compare it to this child who does not know even the meaning of toys or school .........
Is this how ur home looks .....this little one is a live prey for the waiting vulture .can u imagine yourself in his place does it not scare u ........maybe the little one prays that he be eaten alive .death would be better than a life like his ..
How many times do u leave ur tap running ans waste precious water, how many hours u spend in ur bath tub or shower or bubble bath ...... Water is still a scarce resource in major parts of Africa as this picture shows a child washing himself with animal urine..........can u imagine doing this ....NO then why cant u understand .......

Which can u count more easily your tyres or his ribs ......

My blog ends here without an advice or request or comment ....the pictures are enough to change many a tough uncaring hearts too ........I cant see this more and am doing something about it right now hope u will too ..........

Do we have a Voice .......

2007-07-23T20:43:00.000-07:00

A casual comment left by one of the readers who read my blog got me thinking and writing this blog .....thanks u to that person first .

We often dont know our own strengths ......our strong points , and we often let things slip from our hands thinking we are not worthy or strong enough to get it .

We keep silent thinking our words will have no effect , thinking we cant speak up what will people think , we cant .............

Just the letter T makes such a big difference .........i CanT ...why not remove that one alphabet and make it We CaN......

When we start believing we can ..then u will be amazed that we really can do many things .....since as the saying goes Where there is a Will ...There is a Way ............

A Single word can make such a big difference , a kind deed , a knowing smile , a patient wait ....... who knows sometimes even silence can be our greatest strengths !!!

So tap that hidden resource and use it with all the positive energy u have in you ...........

You are strong but u need to know and realise that first !!!

A Second Chance..............

2007-07-15T21:08:00.000-07:00

When i was in my 1st grade , our class went for a picnic to a Aarey Milk Colony .the milk plant that supplies milk to Entire Bombay ......after a bored visit to the plant (every second thinking when will this end and when the teachers will take us to the park )...finally we reached the park ....wow were we thrilled ???

In that excitement whatever the teacher told me fell on deaf ears and the only thought was play play play ...........And then i saw a a very steep , high flight of stairs and by the side was a concrete raised side bar and i thought wow a slide !!!!

Several other children were playing on it and i joined them ....when i was sliding down in sheer excitement somebody pushed me from behind ...and instead of sliding leg down .i started falling head down and before i knew it i had crashed down on a huge pointed stone ....then for sometime i dont remember anything ,neither did i feel the pain ..but i started getting a wet sensation on my back .......peolpe around me were shouting in horror and i realised on touching it was none other than my own blood that was soaking my back and my uniform ........but i felt no pain a t all .....later on the doctor said that the hit was so bad that my full head became numb instantly .....Then my teacher kept huge chunks of ice .still the blood flowed like it would never stop ....but i still felt no pain !!! Then they kept sugar and coffee powder and then after nearly half an hour the blood stopped flowing ........

My father feels anger rising in him even now when he thinks why they did not immediately rush me to a hospital .

In the evening at 6 o'clock when my mother picked me up at the bus stop i can never forget the horror and the pain and the tears that flowed when she saw my uniform now completely red .....i smiled at her and tried to comfort her saying it is ok amma i dont have any pain .........when i said this her tears flowed like a river ........She rushed me to a doctor and he told her to get my hair shaved in that part .......By that time my father came from office and he took me for my hair cut ...After that when the doctor examined me he sat on his chair and caught my fathers hand and said You are a very luck man if u had got her even 10 minutes late then maybe u would have lost her ..........What followed was a commotion of pain and tears and anger and confusion ........

He then send me to his Friend a surgeon who patched me up with 9 injections and 8 stitches around the wound .....To make things worse that numbness left me at exactly the same time when he started giving me the injections around the wound ....My mother later on told me that the doctor had seen my skull .the wound was that deep ......It took me a month of complete bed rest to recover ..........As the doctor said that day "Your daughter has been given a second life , Thank God for that "Even today i thank him for giving me this precious gift twice ........in one lifetime .....

Life .........Live It

2007-07-13T22:26:00.000-07:00

I wish i got 5 minutes to sit like this .just lazy ..reading and just relaxing !!!

Wow it seems like a dream ...a distant dream .Life has become so hectic so busy that dates and days and time just flies at super sonic speed .When was the last time we even sat down in one place for 5 minutes , or read a book or just lazed about .......

maybe we are so caught up in the race for survival and money making and existance that we forget that we have a life and that we are human .......

When is the last time you laughed over the dinner tables.dineers are just " for the sake of eating " meals now ....... who cares about health ???

Gone are the times when people spend time with loved ones , had meals together , watched a movie together at home , went for picnics and simply read a book !

Gone are those times when we knew all the people in our lane and the next lane by their name .Nowadays we dont even know our next door neighbours !!!

Wake up people ........life comes just once ....live it to the fullest and live it well and enjoy every moment that comes but once . Life is delicate and the most precious gift don't let it get crushed under responsibilities , work , money and so many other things ........... make it a perfect balance of everything and enjoy it from now on .

Mother ........

2007-07-13T00:00:00.000-07:00

Which is the best word in the world ???

Be it any language , any place, any caste , any creed , any corner of the world , any day ......it is Mother .............

The sweetest word , the strongest word , the best word !!!

An institution in herself .... a teacher , a guide , a learner all in one .

Her eyes can shed a tear ever so easily when it concerns her loved ones , her kids ........but her heart can take the strongest blow when it comes to defending them from harm .

Soft and tender , also Strong and firm .

Patient and loving , yet Anxious and Firm .

She teaches better than the best teachr in the world and learns with the anxiety of a child .......

God gave everything to her ...................love , strength , caring , sharing , sacrifice , knowledge and so many virtues .........but instead took away from her the peace , the relief .........she always endures pain and anxiety and the "what is next " tensions ......

How many of u ever ask ur mothr what she wants , how many of you take the time to cook for her her favourite meal ..

How many of you take her out to her favourite movie and buy her her favourite dress .

How many of you know what she wants for herself .............

If you dont then it is time to start now ..........because she is the best gift God has given you and will ever give so take care of it and cherish it forever .............

Mother .........the best word in the world since it defines the best people in the world .

Where are the good cartoons ???

2007-07-06T23:43:00.000-07:00

Where are the good cartoons gone .....Gone with the wind is it ????? Gone are those cartoons with the innocent themes and lovely music and cute characters , gone are the cartoons that made us laugh till tears rolled down our cheeks .... Remember all the Fairy Tales we saw as kids Cinderella , The Frog Prince , Snow White , Pinocchio , The King with No Clothes , The Nutcracker , The Jungle Book ..............................the list is endless all lovely innocent cartoons with loads of morals and meanings and fun ........ all those characters are still so alive in our minds and we cherish those memories ...... Now what do our kids have ....stylish guys with machine guns and rocket launchers speaking trash and dressing like trash yelling , shooting , SMOOCHING , and everything a kid should not see !!!!!!!!!Gone are those times when parents could switch on the cartoon channel without thinking twice and be relieved that the little one learns a thing or two ...

But now parents are horrified by the contents of the kiddy channels ......we have semi naked people running around and spreading the news of violence and talking things like " hey dude beware or i slice out ur tongue and have it for my meal today ......"What the hell !!! The language used is horrible ............. .hey u guys out there cartoons are meant to soothe baby minds and teach good morals or just for plain harmless fun ........

Does your baby know Cinderella , does she know The sacrifice Beauty made for her father in Beauty and the Beast ???????

Now your child knows only XPD Power rangers in silly costumes and demons that look like burned plastic waste !!! They know only Mr.Bean of all the horrors teaching kids to act like Nuts with his very Vulgsr comedy !!! Yuck ...So all u moms and dads and siblings out there join ur hands together for a cause .......The save the Innocence cause !!!!!!!!!

We need to keep the Innocence alive not Destroy it before it even comes out of the womb ........

kerala Food

2007-07-03T20:45:00.000-07:00

Just check out these amazing dishes from Kerala ........and feel your mouth water ....yummmmm!!!

Puttu ...Steamed Rice cakes garnished with scraped coconut and served either with banana and sugar or with a spicy boiled gram curry .

Mango pickle the all time favourite of any keralite . pickled ripe mangoes that is made over a period of 2 weeks of soaking in brine and then mixing .Stored in the traditional BHARANI or ceramic or clay pots in which it is supposed to stay fresh and yummy for months .

The traditional Kerala feast served in the ever so hygeinic plantain leaf rice , aviyal , sambhar , ghee , vegetable stew , pappadam , vegetable side dish with coconut , pickle and sweet dishes and kheer or payasam .

IDLI soft dumplings . Rice and dal soaked in water for atleast 4 hours in correct mix , then made to fine paste at night with salt and little pre soaked fenugreek seeds . Steamedin the traditional IDLI vessel in morning to give these yummy delicasies eaten with either sambhar or coconut chutney ( made by grinding to a fine paste scraped coconut , a green chilli , small onions 2 or 3 and then seasoning with mustard , red dry chilli and curry leaves ) .

IDIYAPPAM or RICE noodles haha not noodles exactly . Rice powder mixed to a paste in warm water with salt . Paste fed into a IDIYAPPAM "seva nazhi " a brass vessel in which seeves are there through which the mix is pressed out into noodle like circles into a steamer .

Steamed to cook and had with vegetable stew or egg curry

A treat for the Non Vegetarians .....fried pomfrets .......cleaned and mixed and filled with paste of chilli powder , turmeric powder , pepper powder and deep fried in oil and garnished with cut onions and coriander and lime .

The ever loved DOSA loved and eaten the most in all parts of INDIA .Batter preparation same as that of IDLI but not steamed . The DOSA batter is poured into a DOSA THAVA or hot plate and carefully spread into a round shape and then heated with oil or ghee till cooked and golden colour . Eaten with sambhar or coconut chutney .......the yummiest simplest any time favorite keralite dish

The traditional Muslim mixed biriyani ........ a must for every muslim wedding and loved by every keralite in every part of the world . Cooked with Long grain rice in coconut milk and ghee with vegetables and seasones with spices and delicious nuts ........wow

The APPAM ....a slightly complocated mix to make but the end product being one of the tastiest . Uncooked rice soaked and ground to make batter and mixed with salt , sugar , fermented yeast in coconut water and allowed to ferment and rise as soft batter throughout night . Morning cooked in the traditional APPA CHATTI to give soft fluffy sweet appams ....opps mouth is watering ad served hot with Vegetable stew / Egg curry / Chicken stew .

So did u enjoy it so russshhhhhh to the nearby Kerala Restaurant and have them ...and Enjoy !!

It is all about trust ...

2007-07-01T20:49:00.000-07:00

What happens when a loved one breaks your trust ..... what does it mean ?

Does it mean he/she does not love you , they dont care , they dont value you , they dont think of you ? A promise is something sacred and never to be misused ...never ...When a person asks you for a promise , it is not ego or want or anything negative .....it is love and care and a way of reminding you of something important .

Also it is an unwritten , unsaid statement that i trust you and expect that you love and care for me so that you dont break the trust .

But when a person u love promises you and says without words that I love you and care for you and you can be assured that i will take care never to hurt you ..........and then goes on to break the promise and your trust and says indirectly that promises to u mean nothing to me since you mean nothing to me .......How should one take it , how should one bear it , how should one deal with this .

Am i bad and do i really mean nothing , was there something lacking in my love , my care , in me ?

Have i mistaken it that i mean something to him/her ,

Does breaking the promise mean leave me alone , does a broken promise mean ....there is no bond anymore ???

What do you do when you feel so lost that it blinds you ..........and cripples your very existance ?

The Rose and The Dew Drop

2007-06-27T21:08:00.000-07:00

What shines there like a precious gem ,

On a petal shining with pride

The rose seems shy as she blushes red ,

wearing her jewel like a bride .

Rose bush , Rose bush can you say ,

what makes your flower shy ,

It is her gem her lover her joy

And I admire it with a silent sigh .

Little rose can you give him to me ,

I ask with a sparkling eye ,

She is so silent , as she stands ,

her silence asking me ....why ?

Little rose why no answer gives thou ?

With your gem will you part ,

She looks on ever so silently ,

her silence touches my heart .

And then her silent happiness ,

Slowly seems to melt away ,

As she looks on the rising sun ,

"NO" her silence seems to say .

Rose bush , Rose bush tell me why ,

Why does Little rose fear the sun ,

As he rises , her little heart knows ,

Such moments , now there would be none ........

I look on ever so silently ,

as her lover dies away ,

The little rose asks me without a word,

Where is he , can you say ?

Thou be not sad , little beauty ,

He will return to you ,

Sleep with content and a smile in heart ,

The hours are but very few ....

She stands there her eyes to the sky ,

and wonders without a word ,

When my precious gem comes back ...

I might have left this world !

I ask her why with a fear in heart

Why death she would embrace ,

My love my gem keeps me alive ,

And about him there is no trace ......

The little rose sleeps with a heavy heart ,

And wakes up with a silent prayer ,

As she slowly opens her eyes in fear ,S

he sees him waiting there .........

Rose bush ,Rose bush i happily sing

What a beautiful sight ,

The blush is back on her beautiful cheek ,

As silent lovers unite ...

2007-06-22T00:26:00.000-07:00

When u read this imagine u are seeing and feeling and experiencing all that is written in this blog .....
Yes the rains have arrived .................yes Chennai has rains !!!
The day is so good , when i woke up early in the morning there was a light continuous drizzle , as i stood in the balcony ...that faint smell of mud in the rain was so good .The cool breeze carressed my cheeks and played around with my hair as it flew carelessly and said good morning to the wind and the rain and the hidden sun ........
A bird sat on a branch like a wet beautiful statue , water dripping drop by drop from the tip of it's beak ....... occasionally it gave a shake to it's wings to ward off the water drops that teased him so .It wondered if to wander out or no ?
A dog on the street walked lazily drenched like a sponge tail and ears lying limp and soggy .....eyes blinking to keep out the water drops , an occasional shake that that gave out a water spray on the passerby in neatly whitener dipped dhoti and shirt .....Oh he said and involuntarily jumped to the side with one leg raised to avoid the water .
My neighbour sat in a reclining chair in his balcony with a steaming cup of something in his hand , the steam arising from his cup like a dancing lady in a cold morning .
Inside my bedroom my little one and husband lay snug in bed covered cozily by their blankets that i pulled up to their necks .
As i brushed her hair away from her eyes the little face smiled in sleep and cuddled up even more and i gave a very soft kiss on her cheeks trying not to awaken her from her cosy happy slumber ....Wish i could cuddle up too , no no that is not possible for a working woman and a mother of a tiny tot who goes to school :(
The water was freezing cold as i washed the vessels ... oops need warm water for bathing today I thought ...
Then after the moning rush Ammu and me got ready to start our day .She excitedly put on her rain cap and i took my umbrella ...though silently we both wished ,am sure,to be able to get wet and enjoy a walk in the rain !!!!
As we sat in the car ammu squealed with excitement to see the water go splish splosh splatter as vehicles rushed by .
People holding umbrellas trying to fight a loosing battle with the breeze that teased them by turning their umbrellas upside down ...... Embarrassed laughters mixed with silent curses as they desperately tried to straighten it ...
Women pull up their sarees to keep it from getting wet and the speeding driver makes their strategy a waste as he carelessly splashes the water all over them as he speeds by .......Again curses but this time not silent as they raise their hands and animated curses and loud voices being drowned in the rain splitter splatter splish splosh .....
Ammu is loving all of this and she being a very caring soul thinks ...amma some children in my class dont have car will they get wet , oh poor friends of mine ........but then she feels they are lucky that they can get wet and enjoy the rain !!!
A man angrily pushes his car,it has stopped in the middle of the road , towards the side ........." aagh i have an urgent meeting today , the boss will kill me " he tells his equally frustrated wife who is more bothered about her dripping make up and her ruined hairstyle and her leather sandals and bag :)) !
A group of excited school children slowly make their way finding puddles of water and making sure they walk in them and their parents angrily pull them out , no use carefully polished shoes are really soaking wet by now ........
A pair of teenagers in tight fitting dresses all decked up for college look happy as they walk without a care and an umbrella enjoying every drop every puddle ......... Also happy are two young guys on a bike at the signal as they enjoy not the rain but this pretty sight !!!!
The trees look like decked up brides as their green leaves are more green than ever now and flowers colour them up like blush on the cheeks . Water drops looking like earrings and diamonds on the beautiful bride swaying to the music of the wind and rain . I take ammu inside her class and leave her there with a kiss and watch her excitedly share the rainy adventure with an equally excited group of her friends Zenna , Mooha , shreshta and Nivedita .......all twinkly eyes , excited grinning , slightly drippy ponytails , and wet shoes that make the squishy noise when they walk ,... wow they love that and walk about to hear it .......
Opps i could watch these little girls forever but got to go ..... As i reach my office i see a dripping traffic policeman standing idly in his traffic island thinking maybe why the traffic lights are off on a rainy day , else he could sit inside his office sipping a hot cup of tea and just be lazy ........
I have reached my office , i have the best seat in the office right next to the window ..... as i open the window the rain lashes at the window panes and says good morning to me again ........a little bird sits on the opposite tree trying to dry itself but a huge water drop drips straight onto its little head and completely drenches her as she hastily gets a start and then tries all over again to get a little dry ........................
Today is a wonderful day ........ Love u little rain drops ........my steaming cup of coffee has come so i will sit by the window and enjoy it seeing the rain unfold many a stories on the road ............

Insects in kiddy Snacks !!!

2007-06-20T23:18:00.000-07:00

Got a pack of BRITTANIA CHUTKULE for my baby last week from a Spencers Daily shop ........both reputed names in retail...Opened the pack and guess what more than the biscuits there were cockroaches in it fried black roaches atleast 30 of them .!!!!I dont know what to say we look out for brands and neatness and quality and such crap and such Big names in market have tis to offer us .....sick and pathetic .The quality Controller should be sacked and made to eat the stuff he packs for little kids ....What if the pack was bought in a theatre and what if my kid had eaten it without adult supervision ..........Pass this message to all u know please the kids need this ............

Really disappointing the brand i grew up with gives this to my kid .....this is not done !!!

Ammu's Ponytail ..........

2007-06-19T20:46:00.000-07:00

So here i am writing about my little ammu again ........her stories never end .......so sit back and enjoy ..............................

Ammu's latest interest in life has changed .....it is no longer pink bags now it is Long Hair !!!!!!!!!

One fine morning my little ammu decided she would be growing her hair now .....now why is that ?

She said Amma dont cut my hair now i want to tie it like you do behind with the pretty clips and ribbons ........oh and i was happy atleast have influenced her for something good .........actually i influence her for many many many things .......so i have to think twice before i breathe too nowadays

Hmm so as i was saying ammu's long hair .......aagh now it is almost an obsession .daily she makes lightning visits to the mirror and holds her head straight and tilted and sideways and turned and twisted and tries to check the length of her hair ......as if hair grew looong overnight !!! Also she agrees to tie it up like a fountain at night after brushing it well ........otherwise i had to chse her around tables and beds and chairs to do this !!!!!

And then the next step is to rush to me and say with big round eyes " Amma my hair has grown see it touches my ears now ..........it touches my neck ......and so on ........... read all this with twinkly eyes and happy grinning in the background .......

More than the hair what i love is the look in hr eyes the sparkle when the hair is growing .......

Yesterday when i took her to school , she decided she would wait for her friends and then go up together (Ammu aka Meenakshi , Zenna , Noha whom she calls Mooha , Shreshta and Nivedita who is Nivenedittta to ammu ). Then came Zenna shaking her long ponytail behind her , then Shreshta with a plaited ponytail ......more twinkling sparkling eyes and squeeling in joy and holding hands ................then came Mooha with a small teeny weeny ponytail like a fountain on her head ...............then again more happy grins ........wow little girls are awesome !!

Noha's mother had a drained look on her face .....Noha wants loooong hair and a ponytail aagh it is like a battle to tie it up daily in the morning rush ........................OH MY GOD !!!

THEN IT DAWNED ON ME.............

Amma was not the factor that influenced the ponytail and long hair and constant mirrir visits it was tiny heads sitting together and deciding and plotting that all in the group would have longhair and ponytails !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Can u imagine deciding something so seriously when u are 4 or 5 and just 2 feet tall wow ....now that is some decision !!! Maybe grown ups should learn something from this .........Take a decision and stick to it and do whatever possible to get it done !!! and dont forget the fierce Group Loyalty :)

Wow Ammu's ponytail ........did not know there was so much planning behind it by 5 tiny heads !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

All the best Ammu , Zenna , Shreshta , Noha and Nivedita for ur long ponytails .........

Time .......the untamed mystery

2007-06-15T00:00:00.001-07:00

Time ........ A Potters wheel Time is such a fascinating concept , so mysterious so
elusive , very wild , not tamed by anyone or anything , the
ultimate change , the wheel in the hand of the perfect
potter , giving form to the priceless masterpiece of life ..
Gods hands hold the clay with love and firmness and shapes
it into beautiful creations and the wheel of time gives
support and meaning to these creations a perfect blend of
love , foresight , support and perfection .......
The wheel of time ...wow ...the more you think the more it
fascinates you .....enthralls you like a mysterious maiden
with no face no identity but still leaves a mark on you with
her presence .So untamed , can anyone catch it or hold it or bind it never
she is the master of her own wish , she flies always , never
waits , she is unforgiving and ruthless , but always with
you to share and heal and forget and experience and laugh
and cry ..every emotion she shares with you , every moment
she spends with you , never neglect you always by your side
like a faithful companion .
Time waits for nobody and time heals but never forgets
.............use it well every moment comes but once , never
waste it .........give respect to the mysterious wild entity
called TIME and it will respect you ......

Wrong Decisions...!!!

2007-06-13T22:15:00.000-07:00

Wrong decisions …….we all take them in life ………and these wrong decisions are the ones that bring the challenge to life …..
But when someone takes a wrong decision especially spouses ..what do u do ???
If you say ….”See I told you so that you would be wrong as always …..”

Or do you say “ What is done is done now let us find a solution ……”
Well anyday the second approach is the pefect approach !!!
Fault finding is never a solution for any problem .it makes things worse and may even bring in more wrong decisions …….
But if you tread the second path ………then wonders work right in front of your eyes ….
Can reminding a fault bring in a solution … never but if you support him or her when she realizes that she or he was wrong then there is nothing that can match this .

Supprting a right decisions and its rewards is child play but it takes a lot of love , commitment and courage and patience to support the consequences of a mistake !!!
It gives an unsaid message that am with you through all your hardships and I have loved not only you but your faults too ………

And maybe just maybe ..the next time a decision is made your opinion would be important and your views would be respected
So next time before you say “ I told you so .’ think twice because maybe tomorrow the bottle would point to you !!!

The Photograph

2007-06-10T20:34:00.000-07:00

One of the wonderful gifts of technology ...........Photography .....sometimes created , sometimes naural ..........

Something that makes moments eternal , sometimes that holds time on paper , something that makes u notice things u never would have otherwise .....

Photographs ......moments on paper ........that make u wish that u were there again ........magic of eternity that it gives to a special point in time ............feelings , joy , tears , captured forever by a click and a flash of light .........So beautiful so permanent ..........

Black or white or colour ............. it is special all the same ..............

What inspired me to write this description ..........a blog full of pictures taken by a very talented young man ........a blog that made me sit back and think and write ............pictures that spoke without words , colours without palettes , expressions without faces , imaginations being given wings to fly and rise and soar above normal ...............................

Photographs .................. papers with magic of moments that were special , that will never come again , that are long gone but will forever stay alive on paper .........the Photograph

The Dancer

2007-06-09T01:50:00.000-07:00

A dancer .......

So beautiful A potrait of expressions , grace , poise , rhythm , music , beats , stories , feelings and so much all in one .....

Every movement of the eyes, eyebrows , hands , fingers , lips , body , legs speaks a story an emotion , a feeling , a rhythm ....

Eyes tells a story without speaking a single word , a hand that draws a painting without colours or canvas , eyebrows that give a twist to the tale , hands that write and play without paper , instruments legs that create music without drums ...........

A Dancer a world in its own ....a world of hidden meanings, stories , feelings that unravel right in front of your eyes .........

I think my turn will come .........

2007-06-05T23:12:00.000-07:00

What happens .....
when a rose bush has only thorns ?
What happens ....
when the seasons have only fall ?
What happens ....
when deserts have no oasis ?
What happens ....
when the sun only knows to set ?
What happens ....
when tears cover happiness ?
What happens ....
when a smile is long forgotten ?
What happens ....
when lies murder truth ?
What happens ....
when loneliness engulfs you ?
What happens ....
When ur only friend is the darkness ?
What happens , what happens what happens ?
Then i lift my head and look to the skies,
and a little hope remains ,
that one day a light will shine down ,
through those dark rainy clouds ...
that one day there will be silence ,
and my voice will be heard ....
that one day the Lord will remember me
and think of loving me too........
That one day tears will find an end
and stop where my smile begins ......
One day maybe one day .....it will be my turn too .

The tree outside my Window.......

2007-05-28T23:47:00.000-07:00

I have my table near the window …..When I open the blinds I can see the road , lots of traffic ,people walking , children going to school , and ………and 2 big tall bare trees one in our compund and the other on the other side of the road ……..Totally bare just branches , twigs and some birds just resting on it ............Gradually leaves appeared and so did many birds on it ...................Today when i opened the blind the most beautiful sight awaited me .........in the nearby tree small pink and white flowers had started to bllom and a hundred more waiting to bloom .......And in the far away tree bright flaming red flowers have started to bloom ..........So wonderful a sight .......Colour after a bare colourless past ..........hope after despair , reward after waiting , sweet fruit of patience , ......so many million thoughts came to mind ........Life is like the tree outside my window …bare at times without olour and suddenly God fills it with colour as a rewards for our patience , hardwork , perseverance , hope and trust in him ………Now the tree is filled with birds ……..but noble are those birds who sat on the tree waiting for it to bloom , without leaving it alone when it was bare …….True friends in ur life are like that ………….even in ur most colourless moments they stand by u and rejoice with u when the colurs are back ........Is it not wonderful that a blooming tree brings so much to mind ………………Salutations to u blooming beauty …a teacher in a way

My hilarious bus journeys ..........

2007-05-21T04:31:00.001-07:00

When i was in college , we used to use the local bus service to go to college .

What is so important about a bus trip umay think .............But experience it once and u will know for sure .......

In Kerala the front portion of the bus is for ladies and behind is for gents ......The bus reaches the bus stop like a fully pregnant lady and u feel the baby would just fall out now ........

people hanging on the foorboard ( oh yep that is 1 bad reality about indian bus travels )......some hanging for their life , some posing like a ballerina on 1 leg , some dangling on another collar and some to anothers bag .

Somehow i push myself in and stand like a cheese slice between 2 bread slices smashed and crushed ..........The ticket checker is totally irritated when he sees us students ....since we have a student concession and we pay him much lesser than the actual fare !!!He starts grumbling .........

DO U HAVE NO OTHER BUS DID U GET ONLY THIS BUS .........WHY CANT U WAKE UP EARLY AND CATCH THE BUS BEFORE THIS OR BE A LITTLE LATE AND GET THE NEXT ONE ............

i pretend i did not hear him and give him the money ...........He grabs it from my hand and pushes the ticket into my hand !

come the next stop and more of ticket concessions waiting like the hunter for the prey .........and he grumbles more .....

.OH THEY ALSO GOT UP ON TIME NOT A LITTLE EARLY NOT A LITTLE LATE OH .........

he tries to blow the whistle so that the bus does not stop but other passengers support us and bring the bus to a screeching halt ...

More high heels and sports shoes and bags and tiffin boxes get in and give him peanuts for ticket fare and he gets as red as u can imagine ........

And suddenly the red guy howls in the weirdest noises u ever heard !!!!!!!!.............

OH MY GOD WHAT DO THESE CHILDREN OF TODAY WEAR ON THEIR LEGs NAILS OR PINS OR WOOD ...........some girl has just stood on his leg with her pencil heels and given him a punctured leg !!!

WHAT DO UR PARENTS FEED U AND WHY DO U HAVE TO USE ALL THAT ENERGY ON ME ........

And suddenly the driver puts on the brake (drivers there dont know what is slow and careful ...the bus id driven like a roller coaster )and ooooooohhhhhhh all the ladies and the girls and the children fall thump on the unsuspecting conductor like a row of cards .........

There are squeala and cries and howls and curses as ladies and girls try desperately to get a hold on anything available to get up !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1OOOOOOOWWWWWWW there is a loud cry that is my hair u are holding ....ouch dont pull my dress ,

oh shit where is my tiffin box ....and the tiffin box rolls towards the driver ......oh god get up get up u are breaking my back and one by one they scramble to their feet ....

Finally they r all up and then a burst of laughter ,,,,and guess what mister red hot guy is lying like a flat painting on the floor of the bus hands and legs sprawled in 4 directions .........then a fat lady pulls him up and he is too shocked to even curse .........In a low voice he speaks

THIS IS A BUS , A BUS HAS RODS , AND PASSENGERS SHOULD HOLD ON THOSE RODS AND SPARE US A WEIGHTLIFTING EXPERIENCE .All are silent at first and then all burst into laughter ............

and an old lady tells him ........SEE U CURSED THESE CHILDREN WHO ARE BUDDING PILLARS OF OUR NATION THAT IS WHY GOD PUNISHED U ..............and the conductor looks as if he could murder her with his stare !!!

And he says they are not budding pillars they are iron pillars with nails at the bottom see how they have punctured my leg and smashed my belly and twisted my bag out of shape ..........

And so the bus drags on and the long route seems short as we laugh and poke fun and push and struggle ..........and when the college reaches we see the first smile on mister red guy and he himself opens the door and heaves a sigh of relief ........

One of the naughty girls calls out to him THIS BUS COMES BACK AT 5.00PM RIGHT WE WILL MAKE SURE WE GET INTO THIS , ELSE WE ARE SURE U WILL MISS US ...............and he looks like he saws aghost !!!!!!

Reading is not enough ....u should really experience the bus travel in Kerala , it is one hell of an experience as strangers and friends and young and old travel like a family laughing joking teasing and reach their respective places ........

If at all any of u have a chance to travel to Kerala make sure u get in atleast once in a local bus .........and meet mister red guy !!!!!!!

The End of Innocence

2007-05-19T01:42:00.000-07:00

Innocence what is that ......in todays world even children loose it to
the cruel world so early in life .......Gone are the days
when you had to be atleast 14 to know the facts of life ,
but now even a 5 year old asks questions that even a 50 year
old cannot answer ......what should they answer ...make up a
story , lie or give them the truth .........Make up a story and they tell you the facts on your face
.......Tell a lie and they confront you ............tell the truth and kill their innocence with your own hands
.......Cruel is today's world and Ignorance is a bliss since the
more you know the more you get pulled into the quicksand of
cruel life where there is no place for the lotus of
innocence !!

Gone are the days when innocence sparkled like diamonds in
little eyes , now they have only questions , about life
throwing them into the gallows of cruelty , thanklessness ,
violence , betrayal , lies , deceit , murders , theft ,
ignorance , fright , sickness , pollution and so many other
dangerous vines that twist around your body and pull you
down into the mire .......
Fight to make this world a better place to live in ....to
let our children laugh their toothless laughs without any
questions , to let that innocence shine like diamonds again
in every eye .....
"We are the world , we are the children , we are the ones
who make a better place so lets start giving ........Theres
a choice we are making , ...................its true we make a better world just you and me ........"
These words can never be forgotten , written by a blind
person who has never once seen this world
........unforgettable

Hmmmm .......te attack is on my sister this time

2007-05-14T04:01:00.000-07:00

howdy pardner , how are all ye out dere ........ha ha ha opps sorry just tried out cowboy lingo and miserable failed ....
Ok am wondering what to write ,been a long time ok so i will write on Peemu (Seema my sister )

OnNovember 9th , 1982 , this little things arrived in my life ........Miss . Seema B.Menon .....my little sis .bundled up in white cloth and with one hair on her tiny head and mustard sized fingers and toes .red or pink and clenched tight ........yeah she came in ready for a fight ......

Hmm now i had a new toy , was my first reaction ............
Then realised with a heavy heart that i could not feed it milk(by mixing talcum powder and water ) and could not feed it dinner ( tiny stones mixed with leaves ) as i fed all my other dolls !!!
Oh then she grew up and i enjooyed every second with her , hmm but when little miss muffet turned into the Gladiator ..i never realised ................
Hmm she was a little hot tempered sis ....
I remember once i took her toy metal cock and hen game to just see it and she grabbed it from my hand and bonked me on my head with it .............and lo and behold newtons theory hel true even for the stars ...they came down and revolved and rotated around my throbbing head !!!

Once when we cousins were getting dressed for our cousins wedding peemu got inot a usual fight with mini chechi ( our cousin sister .mothers sisters daughter ) ..and peemu decided that she did not know how to put on make up and decided to do it herself !!!!!!!!!
After 10 agonising minutes of wait , what came out of the dressing room is a bit tough to write about ..........
It was a little color palatte actually with 2 ribbons and a dress ..............even mini chechi did not know that she had so many colours in her make up box !!!

Peemu always made me laugh with her antics .her dressing up for school were always like a horror show for my mother and a stand up comedy of errors for me ...
She wanted everything tight tight and more tight .from the ribbon on her hair , to the belt of her uniform to the buckle of her shoe ........
my mother never needed to go to the Gym , since she really had all the exercise for her hands .........tugging pulling and ouch tightening ribbons , belts and buckles till they tore or broke off or simply snapped !!!
An after all the exercise when the school bus would be just around the corner ....amma it is loose and there would be ribbons flying from her hair and my mother would be standing there as if she saw a ghost or like she had just been conked on her head a suffered amnesia or like she would erupt like a volcano ..............
Also i remember so many dresses being sneaked into the bedroom and slowly small hands cutting the belts off those dresses since they could never be tight enough !!

Then her dinner sessions were hilarious ........father was very particular about eating all vegetables and she hated them .............she would sweetly eat slowly till my father got up then grab all the vegetables and put it into her glass of water and smile victoriously and cooly get up from the dining table .........
And if it was anything she liked then she would gobble it up fast and sweetly await my share too ..........oh so many chocolates and wafer biscuits i have lost to her .......

Hmm she was the best palymate ever (though she could not drink talcum powder milk and stone dinners ) ................ i played the craziest games with her .the best being with dolls and making different noises and sounds for each character ...........and my parents often came up to know what the squeaky voices were !!!
Also equally funny were her school stories ......there was a girl she really hated and i remember telling me that she is very sticky ( she meant she used to keep sticking to her even though she did not like her )

But under this violent , tight , naughty little peemu there is a lovable , flexible girl and the best sister in the world .........who is always there for me for anything ......and now she is My ammu's (my little one ) best friend too ....though she teaches ammu all her crazy games and silly songs like ...............you yellow colured teddy bear ...what is ur name .......sung in malayalam and with a funny tune !!!!!
Also she has taught her silly tribal dances like "tukku tukku tukku tukku " which she made while in school and dances with flappy hands and bow legs with a sily look on her face ...............and ammu learnt it too well ouch !!!!
Oops she is something !!!

Hmm that is peemu or Seema Dilip now after marriage ......but the best sis in the world .........who will definitely teach dilip and her child tukku tukku ...........................I love u little sis for adding a RAINBOW TO MY LIFE .............A rainbow of 7 colours
Love
Laughter
Kindness
Silly songs and dances
Friendship
Trust
Happiness..............................I Love u Peemu

I never knew ....................

2007-04-27T22:50:00.000-07:00

How does it feel to live with the guilt inside u that you could have saved someones life if u had reached on time .... and more if that someone was your own mother .

Well i know someone just like that and it happens to be my own brother , my cousin Anu , the spiderman of our family about whom i have mentioned in my earlier blog .

And worse that as a sister it took me 8 to 9 years to realise this .... am ashamed about this .

To know more about what am speaking about pl read http://firstsynn.blogspot.com read WAKING UP ... in it and then come back to this blog .

After his mothers death he did all sorts of crazy things ........ loitered around with friends , think tried drinking too , stayed out late , grew his hair in inhuman ways and so many mad things .. he was a rebel without a cause .

I always felt that now there is nobody to control him so he behaves as he was .......
At that point of time i was more angry than sympathetic to him ........ that he was not bothered about his sister or his father and was being vry irresponsible .........

After reading his blog ....... how wrong i was
He was doing all this to forget the fact that he held himself responsible for her death ..........that all alone he was suffering in the hell of guilt that IF he had reached there 5 minutes earlier he could have ... just maybe he could have saved her !
This feeling had got into a little boys heart some 8 years back and he had suffered it silently all these years ..... And as an elder sister i had never once tried to find out or speak to him about why he was as he was ..............

If i had spoken to him earlier maybe ....just maybe i could have brought him out of this guilt that ruined his life for these 8 or 9 years ........... I feel i failed him as a sister .....................

But in a way it gives some peace that my blog on our uncle led him to finally speak it out ... maybe just maybe ............ it is a penance for the wrong that i did to him .......... that I never knew .

But now i want the world to know that if Anu was near her at the time she left .... she would go with pain ..... because she would close her eyes and always carry with her the image of a scared little boy helplessly standing near her , not knowing what to do , and his tears would never give peace to her soul .....................

she loved u anu a lot and maybe just maybe that is why u reached her side unknowingly just at the moment her soul was set free .......... only u wre with her because she loved u best ...

So go on kiddo go on and live ur life now just the way she wanted it to be ............ Am always there for u .
But am sorry that ............I never knew ....

I Want the world to know HIM

2007-04-25T22:56:00.000-07:00

Some voids and empty spaces are never filled up ..because you can never find anything that would do justice or anything that would be perfect enough to fill it up ... or because the person whose loss created that emptiness was one of a kind and nobody can ever be like that ........
Such a precious gem was Venu kochachan ,my uncle , my playmate , my teacher and my best friend .
My fathers youngest brother Venu ..... the darling of his parents and his siblings ,the best friend of all his nephews and nieces ,the bond that kept together everyone as a family ,the medicine that healed everybody's wounds ,the bandage that mended broken hearts , the heart that knew only to love and give and share and bear .
He was perfect in every way ...........
We lived in Bombay and came down on vacations to Kerala our native . The times that i spend with him in my vacations were the best .......he brought me all the silly toys .. the best was a butterfly attached to a wheel on a long stick ....... and when i ran pushing the stick on the ground it flapped its wings .Then a car that did crazy rounds and somersaults .
He took me for rides on his bycycle and his friends scooter ....... wow i loved it when he allowed me to ring the bell and horn i used to make a racket on the road , and he enjoyed the madness with me just like a child
When i fell down he taught me that having a bandage on your body meant that you were brave and adventurous and not a coward and that it was a badge of honour that separated u from cowards and cry babies ......... from that day wounds were not cried on but borne with pride !!!
My father was very strict .... while doing my homework if i used the eraser i got a firing for being careless ....... he is the one who showed me that if i use the eraser and rub on it with a soft cloth then it looks neat and people will not know i rubbed ... ha ha ha
We were never allowed to go to theaters for movies .....so what did he do .he got me a VCR so i could see movies at home ....... of course he got a firing from my father for spending too much money ........ and he fought back saying she is my little one and if i cant do anything for her then i will never set foot in this house again !!!! Wow my uncle my hero
He and his 2 best friends Baby uncle and Jayan uncle were my best friends too .They taught me to ride my cycle ..... and for every fall i got a juice and chocolates .
You know he did those crazy magic tricks with stones and cards and i wa always so amused ......he taught it to the security of my apartments too ......All the children in the building wanted to play with him learn his tricks and iremember me being proud that he was my uncle my best friend .
Then he went to Muscat for his job .... i missed him a lot .When he came for visits he brought loads of gifts , and again braved my fathers firings for spending money . wHENEVER HE CAME he made sure we had family get togethers ......Family was always important to him , Family ties , bonds everything ...
Once when he came he told me You know for your wedding i am going to do so many things , i will buy you whatever you want and i promise i will make it grand ..... Later on his wife and one of my favourite aunts Sujatha kunjamma told me he would always speak to her about doing so many things for me and that he always felt that he was doing less for me .
The day before his death he came to our house and arranged a family get together the next day at my grandfathers home .Then suddenly he asked my mother for her mango pickle .........and she couldn not give it to him as it was over but she promised to make some for him the next day .....He treated my mother his brothers wife as his own mother ... so much respect maybe even i cannot give my mother ...
Then he went off promising me that he would come the next evening at around 4 in the evening ......but he could never keep his promise .... God did not let him keep his promise ......
That day we found that my father was upset when he came home from work and he was late too since saturdays were usually half days ...... When we asked him he said that traffic was blocked on the road since some big accident had taken place , the road was covered with blood and that an oil tanker had hit a scooter driver knocked him under the vehicle and dragged his mangled body on the road , a case of hit and run ......witnesses had said this and my father was sure that the scooter driver was dead .
My father brought his favourite snacks , my mother made his mango pickle and we were all eagerly waited for him ....
On December 1oth ,1996 At 4 o clock one of my uncles came and called my father outside , they spoke something and my father came inside his face white with disbelief , anger ,sorrow , horror ...........venu kochachan had met with an accident and the description and location matched the one he had witnessed that day .......
My father had been there and seen the blood and the remains of the scooter not knowing that his brother lay on the road crushed under the tyres of a truck driven by a monster a cruel monster a wretched wicked monster who had given a cruel end to such a gentle noble soul ......that bloody devil who did not even wait to look back once to know if he was dead or alive ........
Witness said that he was conscious when the traffic inspector rushed to him and carried him to the hospital , that he had desperately tried to utter some words which did not come out ........A person who had always been the bond in our family had died alone on the road with nobody near him even to give him a drop of water .......
A person who had given love , healed everybody's wounds , who had spread love, togeherness, sharing and caring had died in pain and loneliness ........ How could God be so cruel how could he even give a scratch to a soul like him ........He had dashed him to the road , torn his body apart dragged it around and left him to die o the road ..................
Such a horrible painful end to such a gentle person who knew only to love ..who did not hurt people even in his thoughts
As he had wished the family got together the next day at my grandfathers home not for a family reunion but to see him lying there motioneless , tied up and bandaged in white cloth , his face drained off blood and life and eyes shut forever ..........he would never look at me with those eyes ever again , he would never play card games or stone tricks and never buy me chocolates or butterflies on sticks with wheels , he would never rise again .
After 10 years it is now that i have opened up and got some strength to write about it ........
Those who read this pl pass this link to others and get them to read it too ....... I want the world to know my venu kochachan ...... This is all i can do for him ........ For the person who always felt that he is not doing enough for me ...For that person who gave me so much without actually giving , who blessed my life by just being in it ...for a very short time .
This is an ODE TO A NOBLE SOUL ....... A HEART THAT KNEW ONLY THE LANGUAGE OF LOVE , HE IS THERE ABOVE IN HEAVEN WATCHING ME AND MAYBE THINKING OF WHAT TO DO FOR ME NEXT ..............
I MISS YOU AND I WANT THE WORLD TO KNOW THAT LONG TIME AGO THERE LIVED AN ANGEL ON EARTH WHOM GOD CALLED BACK TOO EARLY, TOO SOON AND WHO LEFT AN EMPTY SPACE THAT WILL NEVER BE FILLED EVER AGAIN .....

When AMMU is away from me

2007-04-24T01:33:00.000-07:00

Ammu is at my parents house for her big vacation .
She is too happy because she has so much of space .quite contrast to being in 2 closed rooms in our apartments .
There the first thing she does is to run out into the lawn in front of my parents home and draw her little sweet pictures in the mud with her plastic wicket from te cricket set my father got for her ........she says it is better a pencil than a wicket .
After that she takes the hose and wants to water the plants in my parent's little garden . and she waters herself more than the plants and then when the sun starts getting too hot my parents carry in a squeeling , giggling ammu inside to remove her muddy clothes and have a bath .
Children just enjoy the mud and water combo.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
When she goes to the temple she sweetly asks te temple priest for her payasam (sweet dish offered as prasadam ) , and pf course she gets it ............who can resist that baby charm and those dimples and twinkly eyes full of sweet mischif.
afternoons are story sessions with my father , his actual mission is to get her to sleep but mostly that is the one thing that does not happen .
Evenings are a visit to the bakery to pick out her favourite snack and maybe a chocolate .
Then an inspection by little ammu to see how many new buds will bloom the next day ......
She is having a blast there and here my home is dead without her and i impatiently wait for the day she is coming back and those little feet will run around and those little arms will come and hug me and those little round eyes planning the next trick on me .........
I miss u lot little one come back soon ........................

Little Things that count

2007-04-23T22:58:00.000-07:00

Hi friends , all those who r reading this ............
When i got my first comment from a complete stranger i was head over heels in happiness .....
Then i got another one .........from a person whose name too i dont know ........what matters is he left the comment there just to make me feel good .......that is something .
He could have just read it and left it at that but he felt the comment made me happy and put one there .....thank u
It is acts like these that make a difference .
Small things , incidents , insignificant but they leave a mark of goodness and goodwill .....

Lensmans comment

2007-04-11T00:22:00.000-07:00

Yeah this blogger started writing about a month back but poor me nobody read them other than my sis and a cousin and were generous to leave some comments in it .

Then suddenly on 11th April 2007 yipeeeeeeeeeeeeee my first comment from an outsider some person who calls himself lensman ........thanks a ton ...yesssssssss i was so happy that other people are reading my blog .

This blog maybe the most simple dry blog ever but it is my heart and soul whatever that comes into my mind without thinking twice without correction ...

Thanks Mr.Lensman ... for the comment ... it is an inspiration truly .

I must be silly .....so happy for something so small and insignificant ... but i am happy that is what matters

Aum ----- Welcome to the Gods

2007-04-10T21:49:00.000-07:00

The word Om (aum) derives from Sanskrit.

The Om is the primordial sound by which the earth was created- a similar concept to the Greek Logos. It symbolizes unfolding or expansion- when pronounced, it begins in the lungs, and ends on the lips.

OM has over a hundred meanings and one of it is Welcome to the Gods .

Ealry morning once you wake up drink 4 glases of water and then meditate .It really helps .

Sit cross legged on the ground , close your eyes or look straight on a certain point opposite you .

Take a deep breath Then concentrate and say Aum .dont finish sying it immediately take 7 to 8 seconds to say it

O-o-o-o-o-o----------------------------------------m( sounds aum not ooom )

As u say it u feel your lungs going inside ........the sound of om starts inside your stomach near your navel and ends on your lips .

Try it out you will feel all unwanted thoughts going out of your system with the bad carbon dioxide and pleasant feelings been taken in with pure oxygen .

My daughter .......my strength

2007-04-06T23:43:00.000-07:00

I had a lovely childhood ... cared loved sometimes strict but always loved , not too much freedom but never felt the need for it since my home was heaven ..........

Amma who always pampered us ,

brought us gifts when she came from office , brought me my little girl things ...

nail polish (my first one was red colour) , my bangles , hair bands so many things ......always calm , never shouted ........my perfect mother .

Achan ....my strict father ......who loves us a lot ...

go to play at 5 p.m and come back at 6 pm , wow have i got beatings or what !!!!

....but i later realised it was for my good ,

and each beating gave him more pain thatn it gave me .

seema... my little sis, my playmate , my relief in my loneliness when parents went for jobs , my confidant , my little boli .

Then i got married ....... and suddenly life changed ......

i was no longer the pampered daughter or loved sis , i was an elder lost in a new world full of new faces , decisions , problems , loneliness , worries in short lost alone .........

I desperately craved for my parents love , my mothers lap , my sisters funny chats , our games .everything was different , new .

Then God gave me Ammu ........

my little daughter , my strength , my weakness , my joy , my fear , my life , my everything

And in a second she brought back everthything into my life ..........

fun , care , love , games , silly talks , chats , everything.

She is just 5 now , a little chubby darling , my angel who gives me unconditional love ,

who remembers my details more than my self , who knows my dresses more than myself ,

who checks if my slippers match my dress before i leave the house ,

who loves any stupid thing i cook and eats it with " yummy , amma undakanadhu endhu nalladha " ( yummy , whatever my mother cooks is so good ).

Who asks me " amma kazhicho ? did you eat "

Who runs to me suddenly and keeps her little dimpled hands on my cheeks and fondly says " you are my best friend !"

Who first word in the morning and last word at night is amma ...

Whose twinkle in the eye welcomes me whenever i reach home from work , followed by the wild hugs.

Who runs to get water even if a single cough comes from me .

What more do i need .................. Touch wood and thank you GOD for her , my friend , my strength , my life

Anu and Peemu

2007-04-06T21:51:00.000-07:00

Anu........Sandeep Murali ............or better still Spiderman ha ha that is what i prefer to know him as .
And Peemu.......Seema B Menon
My little brother Anushan ......ans my little sis Peemu as anu called her ...both 7 years my junior ........
What should i write about them or what should i not write ..........
My early memories of Anu and Peemu are way down memory lane .when he and my little sis Peemu were playmates and brats ... god that was the pair... the perfect pair of naughtiness , silliness , brattiness , weirdness and what not ...................
Anu tiny and scrawny and little Anu in his little shorts and t shirts and Peemu little taller than Anu in her little dresses with the belt tied so tight that u doubted that she will burst any minute and hair equally tight .
I remember elders having rage and tension fits when the 2 got together ...!
They were morelike rockets dashing from 1 room to another , planning the most silly and weird games , and fights ahhhhhhhh that was the worst .........Salutations parents !!!!
Anu wanted to be spiderman .a spiderman who ate only rice mixed with SALT !!! can u believe it .....god knows how he survived ...
His pretend games got too dangerous many times .......... once when he jumped down from his fathers scooter and landed in a muddy mess on the ground .........and peemu was always so amused by this .
And peemu who supported all his pranks and got into trouble with parents . Peemu who once told him on his face that she would be happy if he went away far from her .in a fit of rage of course ..........she regrets it till date ..... i know it .
And God how can i not mention Anu's haircuts ....... or rather hair not cut .....i have seen the maddest hairstyles on his head !!!! Once even seriously thought that i myself should cut it when he slept .
And Peemu and her hair were my mothers nightmare .... Tight peemu was her name .everything was to be tight tight tight till things tore or broke ......how many ribbons and belts have been sacrificed on her !

Anu went through a lot and i always feel guilty that i have not been abe to support him as much as an elder sis should ......but if he is reading this i want him to know that he has always been in my prayers.
Bless u two and really i hope your children become the next bratty pair and keep you on your toes atleast once ha ha h a

My brothers and My Sister in Law .....few of my best friends

2007-04-04T22:54:00.000-07:00

I have a little sister ...Seema and she is one of Gods best gifts to me ...
But she and I had something missing in our lives always ..........A Brother .
But that gap was filled up by 3 very special people ....nandu , Gopan chettan and aniyan chettan the former being younger and the other 2 our elder brothers

Nandu .........the companion , the prankster , the little one whom i can bully and love at the same time ...
Aniyan chettan .........the comedian ......he can make any tension vanish in a second with his really funny sense of humour ...and the person with whom i could be a 2 year old inspite of me being 30

Gopan chettan .......... a really special person ...silent , thoughtful , caring in a very silent way .......but my strength ...my hidden strength , the brother whom i would call first for anything .
Then a day came when Gopan chettan was to get married .....so many questions crossed my mind ........we wanted only the best girl in the world for him .....cause he is the best !
Then one day i saw her photo ....Radhika ...who is she , what is she , how is she , good , bad , understanding , talkative , hot tempered , cool ........aaaaagh we just could not wait to see her .
Then she came into our family ................
Radhika :
Height : half of my brothers
Weight : really a roly poly chubby girl
Looks : Great
Smile : Dazzling
This was all we judged on the first day ....
Then we got to know her .slowly , gradually , well ..........her laughter fits always amused us .made us laugh too ...and slowly when she made a place in our heart we really dont know ...and now she is one of my best friends .
And when we got to know her ......SHE IS THE BEST !!!!!!!!!!!
Helpful , understanding , cool , takes everything with a smile , makes u feel comfortable , wow she is too good .........Indeed my brother has got the best girl in the world .
This is just to tell you ........Radhika ...U are special and thank you for coming into our family

Everything happens for good

2007-04-04T22:43:00.000-07:00

So many times i have heard this but never believed it once !
But this past one month has proved this saying to me , not once but several times .
Friends are not they who laugh with you , shop with you , have fun , say u are my best friend ...........
But friends are they who wipe your tears when you cry , who brush aside every wrong finger pointed at you and every rumour and boldly say ........ Say what you want ... i know what she is and i trust her ..
A friend is the one who keeps quiet when he knows you need to be left alone ,
who takes your angry outbursts silently and asks you your problem after you cool down .
A friend is not the one who says i am your friend in words ....but the one who proves it in deeds .

I went through a very difficult month .....but now i know who are my true friends and who are not .
People i thought were my soulmates ....pointed fingers at me along with the wrong fingers !!!!!!!!!! I could not believe it ... i am still upset but i cant do anything abvout it .
Just praying that one day god will show them their folly and open their eyes .
Very unexpected people stood by me every second ..supported me , gave me mental strength ......They are friends and soulmates .

It is true Everything happens for the best ........it is very very true ......

Speak it Out

2007-03-20T22:11:00.000-07:00

Speak it out ……….how many times have we heard this or said this to someone ?
Yes Speak it Out ….Else what use are those thoughts …..those feelings …….that love ……..those ideas …….those sudden plans ……that worry ,that fear ……..What is the use if these stay in your mind ?

When you love someone …say it …say it a hundred times …when you care let it show , let it be heard …let it be felt ……….else that love that care is worthless ……Your parents , wife , husband , children , friends ….they all know you care for them ..but trust me they don’t feel it until you speak it out .that love is not valued till; you show it out .

In school .maybe you know all the answers all your lessons …but if you don’t speak out you are the moron of the class !

At work ……you have ideas , you have solutions , you are creative but still you hold a place in the black book !!! Why ?
Speak it out .let them feel your presence …….Let them feel they pay you less …let them realize they have an Asset in hand !

At home let your parents feel your respect your love your care ,don hide it ……they never hid it to you ……go on give your mom that extra hug she deserves …….sit with your dad and take his opinions , then give him that hug too , there is NO written rule that hugs are for MOMS alone !!!

And your children ……..that is the best part of all …hug them cuddle them , play with them … fight with them …then compromise with an extra sweet ……..carry them and squeeze them and wow just hug them tight .

Show your love and care guys …….tomorrow maybe too late .

Black Outs

2007-03-19T23:06:00.000-07:00

When the mind goes blank and nothing comes on paper ....it is so aagh !!!

Where did my ideas go the creative genius in me where are you ?????????

Why do i feel like i have been hit on the head with a baton ...or like the hindi serial heroine who very conveniently gets amnesia to give a twist in the story ........

Sometimes it is like that .....do u know how many times i wrote and rubbed and wrote and tore and wrote and sat shocked that oh how badly can i write ... Sometimes it is a black out ...oh yes it is ... Hmmmmm now what was i thinking , what did i want to do today first things in the morning , what mail was i supposed to send , what did i just say now , what did you just say now ....oh God am i loosing my mind ...

Oh no it is perfectly normal to have a black out once in a while ..... Enjoy it while i lasts ( hope u dont forget some really important things to be done .........the boss could really give u hell for that )

See my temporary black out has made me write so much ...i know it is nothing ...But black outs are facts of life ........

Sometimes you push your glasses over your head and spend hours searching for them ..Keep your helmet and search for it , speak on your mobile and search for it ( ha ha h a) , forget the number of your best friend ...that number u remember backwards otherwise !!!

Go to a room and come out and wonder why you walking about , Call a person ten times to tell him something really important and the minute he responds forget that you even called him Going with your shirt and night pajamas to office , opening your mouth and smiling like an idiot wondering why you even opened your mouth .

Ok now am having it totally ....what was i writing , why was i writing ...who am i ????????

The Old Man From Kerala

2007-03-09T23:43:00.000-08:00

Reception guy : Mam there is an old guy outside , knows only malayalam can u speak to him .

Security guard : i shouted at him told him to leave

ME : pl dont shout ...will find out what first

I go out to the reception expecting to find a trouble maker ...
Instead i find a bend old man with a big bag .
Old man : Mol malayalee aano ? (daughter are u a malayalee )
me : yes
old man : oh valiya ashwasam , mol enne onnu sahayikyamo ( oh what a relief , can u pl help me )
ME : what is it you want do u want to meet anyone here ?
OM : No i want a job .

I am shocked ..at this age when he should be resting he walks around for work ...

ME : do u know anyone in chennai why did u come here ?
OM : I dont know anyone , i came here since i have heard people say u get jobs in chennai ...I used to be a cook but now i have a lot of debts ... i need a job ...can i be a peon ..i will do anything u say .
ME : i will give u malayalee club address , u can approach them maybe they will help u .
OM (with a shimmer of hope in his eyes ) : oh thank u thank u ...may god bless you ..but what if they dont have a job for me ... i cant show my face at my native ...u know iam an old S.S.C passed ...i know even english

Such a simple person ...still living in his world of simplicities and innocence ....he knows not that the world has changed ...that world of innocence in which he lived is no more ...what survives is a world of crime , lies , hypocrisy , back stabbing , ego , greed ...but why ...i cant tell him this He may live for a few more years or weeks or days ....maybe few more days ...if he does not get the job .
I had seen that desperate look in his eyes .

But what striked me was the ten minutes i spoke that i spoke to him his SMILE never left his face ...that tired face and eyes that tols a hundred stories about his miseries and his pain .

I pray god helps him ...give him a job ...take away his pain for atleast some days that he has left on this cruel earth .I may never see him again but i pray his hopes are not in vain ...i wish he closes his eyes finally with that innocence still in them and not with the pain that his world had betrayed him .

My Little Angel.......ammu

2007-03-09T00:08:00.000-08:00

28th Feb ,2002 .the best day in my life now and ever ....Touchwood .
God gifted me with an angel to bear ,keep,cherish,love,admire ......my own little girl ..my daughter ...Meenakshi ...my AMMU .

It is nothing more than a miracle how a little one changes your life forever from the second they come into your life with a wild cry , big round confused eyes , a drippy mouth , tightly clenched fists with dimples on the knuckles as if holding a treasure in them , and one or two hair on the soft head .
That is how she came ....at 8.40 a.m on 28th feb , 2002
24 hours before that were the worst in my life .........and also 3 months before that too
The swollen legs ,the itchy skin , the painful back , and the labour pains which showed me stars during day time ........how did i ever go through that ..........

But the minute i looked into those big round eyes !!!!!!!

The pain the tears the long 9 months .....all seemed to less ...This bundle of sweetness was worth much more .....For her any pain in the world seemed so less .

Now i had someone my very own , a part of me .... my ammu .

There is so much to write about her ........some other time ....Wait on folks

Pilson's Brother

2007-03-07T23:28:00.000-08:00

There are some people who leave lasting impressions on us ...
such a person is pilson's brother .
I dont know his name he was always Pilson's brother .Pilson the brat in my school .aaargh i used to hate that guy ...
Always bragging about his intelligence and showing off his nonsense sense of humour.
I tolerated him only because he was my mother's friends son .i think she also just tolerated him (sorry for sounding rude)One day my mother said aunty has invited us to their home for tea .
OH MY GOD!!!!!!! how could i go to his house.what would my friend's say .
me going to the school brats house.yuckkk!!!!!I dragged on behind my mother with a heavy heart .
Why dont mothers fall for excuses......i even told her that pilson pulls my hair and she was not bothered!!!
My mother likes me or pilson was my question .
Tried telling her that pilson will throw ink on her and oh that did not work out too.

So here we were at pilson's doorstep waiting for the door to open and the beasty brat to pounce on us .I prayed that noone was home that pilson was sick too but the door opened and aunty smiled at us happily .....The happiness of the hunter when the prey shows up at his doorstep .
Pilson was on on the sofa reading .he saw us and never even bothered to look .How dare he not get up on seeing us .
Then suddenly he got up and Dont sit Dont sit ...oh he had started and i was waiting for him to start his bragging or hair pulling or pranks .
He pulled my hand and dragged me into a room and said " Look that is my best friend My Brother ....All others hate me he is the one who bears me always with a smile and does not say one word against me "I
peeped into to room to see pilson the second a bigger brat but ............There he was a silent boy crouching on a chair .Then he lifted his head and looked at pilson and smiled ...droopy eyes , and tongue hanging out with saliva dripping from his mouth ....pilsons brother his best friend was mentally retarted ....could not walk or speak ...just looked and smiled.

Pilson then slowly carried him and made him sit with us .....and wiped his mouth with his shirt ...This was a person i did not know a pilson i never imagined ,a loving caring pilson .

Pilson's brother had done what nobody ese could till now...He brought out the human in pilson ...the caring concerned pilson who id from all others , who hid the hurt inside him that his twin never even spoke to him .

Pilson's brother taught me many things that day without even saying a word :You can change people with love and patience .People are not what they show on the outside , Never judge people until you know them really well.

Pilson's brother .......i do not know if he is alive or went to GOD ...But he is always alive inside my mind ...A SALUTE TO YOU , PILSON'S BROTHER ...for teaching me that love wins all .

EYES

2007-03-07T20:07:00.000-08:00

My eyes look far beyond ,

Beyond the horizon,

Beyond the deepest ocean,

the highest mountain ,

The widest desert ,

But ......what do they want to see ?

Why they dont look at anything

why keep searching , for what ,

Who is it they want to seek ,

What is that they want ?

Why nothing brings the glow of life in them ,

Why a tear stands ready to drop !

Why questions are more than answers in them

Why they wander in an endless search !

Why the search seems futile at times ,

Why suddenly a ray of hope shimmers ,

Why then a curtain falls again ,

Why the search seems again in vain ?

Is it a person you seek ?

Or a forgotten place ,

A past memory or a fiorgotten face ,

A story , a song , a friend an enemy ?

What is it you seek , what is it you want ,

Before you get into eternal sleep ...

Will the glow of life shine once again ?

Tribute to GOD

2007-03-06T19:41:00.000-08:00

Hello world .....Good morning sunshine !!!

Very few people realise how lucky they are to even feel the sunshine .Always oh god i wish i had that ...go i wish that waas mine ,,,,,,,God why was i not in his place ............Oh how unlucky i am .....

How many times in a day we say these things and how many times we hear them .

Why dont we hear God thank u so much for this beautiful day , thank you so much for what i am ..and what i have .

Thank you so much for making me ME .

Look at the world through the eyes of GOD and What he gave you will be the best gift of all .

Your life is thebest gift you have live each second with pride , happiness and goodwill ....and pay your tribute to the ONE who blessed you with it .

Pay your tribute with righteousness not flowers ,

Pay him back with goodness not hymns ,

Thank him each second , not demand more ,

Believe in yourself , and you prove that you believe in HIM ,

Have faith in yourself , and you surely would move mountains of obstacles .

Do a good deed daily , dont expect anything ...because what you have is the best gift of all .

Be what you want others to be

2007-03-06T00:36:00.000-08:00

Be straight forward in life ...say what you mean and mean what you say .

Speak with a clear heart and Speak it loud ..Speak without fear if your heart is clear .
Dont expect people to trust you ...make them trust you with your deeds .
Dont wait for people to have faith on you ....build up that faith with your honesty and righteousness .
Dont think that people will think for you .......think for them and do for them and tomorrow they will think for you
Then see what a difference it will make ....

A few of my favourite Things

2007-03-05T19:47:00.000-08:00

Wild geese that fly with a Moon on Their wings ........
These are a few of my favourite things ......
Do u remember these lines from The sound of Music ...just fantastic right.
Well my favourites may not be so Poetic ...but Favourites they are ...Have a peep into
my favourites too and share some of yours with me ....

The Early morning Sunbeam entering into my Room to tickle my eyes Good Morning .

The tingling freshness after I brush.
The steam going out of a hot tea pot.

The smell of Incense sticks .

The melting butter as it slides gracefully on a hot chappati .(wow)

The lazy paper reading session with a hot cup of tea in hand .

Standing in the balcony smelling the early morning fresh air minus the smell of vehicles .
A cat that stretches lazily to all four sides ….waking from her morning sleep .
A little baby smashing those big brown eyes with those tiny round hands to take away the sleep …
A refreshing morning bath in the chill water giving you goosebumps !!!
Gobbling down breakfast so u reach on time for school and work
The good morning shouted out by a neighbour as u rush out for the day
The good mornings of colleagues who are so happy to see you and behave as if u were away for a year (wow )

There are more to come but so much for now .

What is Laughter without a Tear

2007-03-05T19:43:00.000-08:00

What is laughter without a tear ,
What is courage without fear ,
What is a morning without a night …
And what is achievement without a fight .

Why the day follows the night
And why the night comes all again ,
Why the sunshine hides the darkness ,
And why the darkness kills the light

Why things we like , we loose then gain ,
But somethings loved we search in vain
Why sometimes tears we shed and bleed ,
For things we know were never ours ……..

Why we pray …oh god give me
When we could have prayed oh thank you god …..
Why in vain we seek and seek
When so blind to things our own .

Why to see the light we pass the darkness
Why to bring smile we need a tear
Why to value a gift we need a loss
and why to bring courage we need a fear .

the tears came to bring the laughter ,
the night came to bring the day ,
but why still we see only the tear
and oh it is night again we say .

Let us live the present …tomorrow is yet to come ,
For the fear of tomorrow …let us not loose today ,
Let us laugh not count the tears ,
And let us live not drown in fears .