My hilarious bus journeys ..........

When i was in college , we used  the local bus service to go to college .

What is so important about a bus trip you may think .............But experience it once and u will know for sure .......

In Kerala the front portion of the bus is for ladies and back  is for gents ......The bus reaches the bus stop like a fully pregnant lady and u feel the baby would just pop out now ........

People hanging for dear life on the foot board ( oh yep that is 1 bad reality about Indian bus travels )......some hanging for their life , some posing like a ballerina on 1 leg , some dangling on anothers collar and some to anothers bag .

Somehow i push myself in and stand like a cheese slice between 2 bread slices smashed and crushed ..........The ticket checker is totally irritated when he sees us students ....since we have a student concession and we pay him much lesser than the actual fare !!!
He starts grumbling .........

DO U HAVE NO OTHER BUS DID U GET ONLY THIS BUS .........WHY CANT U WAKE UP EARLY AND CATCH THE BUS BEFORE THIS OR BE A LITTLE LATE AND GET THE NEXT ONE ............

i pretend i did not hear him and give him the money ...........He grabs it from my hand and pushes the ticket into my hand !

Come the next stop and more of ticket concessions waiting like  hunters for the prey .........and he grumbles more .....

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OH These ALSO GOT UP ON TIME NOT A LITTLE EARLY NOT A LITTLE LATE OH .........

He tries to blow the whistle so that the bus does not stop but other passengers support us and bring the bus to a screeching halt ...

More high heels and sports shoes and bags and tiffin boxes get in and give him peanuts for ticket fare and he gets as red as u can imagine ........

And suddenly the red guy howls in the weirdest noises u ever heard !!!!!!!!.............

OH MY GOD WHAT DO THESE CHILDREN OF TODAY WEAR ON THEIR Legs NAILS OR PINS OR WOOD ...........some girl has just stood on his leg with her pencil heels and given him a punctured leg !!!

WHAT DO UR PARENTS FEED U AND WHY DO U HAVE TO USE ALL THAT ENERGY ON ME ........

And suddenly the driver puts on the brake (drivers there don't know what is slow and careful ...the bus usually driven like a roller coaster )and ooooooohhhhhhh all the ladies and the girls and the children fall thump on the unsuspecting conductor like a row of cards .........

There are squeals and cries and howls and curses as ladies and girls try desperately to get a hold on anything available to get up !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OOOOOOOWWWWWWW there is a loud cry that is my hair u are holding ....ouch don't pull my dress ,  where is my tiffin box ....and the tiffin box rolls towards the driver ......oh God get up get up u are breaking my back and one by one they scramble to their feet ....

Finally they r all up and then a burst of laughter ,,,,and guess what mister red hot guy is lying like a flat painting on the floor of the bus hands and legs sprawled in 4 directions .........then a fat lady pulls him up and he is too shocked to even curse .........In a low voice he speaks

THIS IS A BUS , A BUS HAS RODS , AND PASSENGERS SHOULD HOLD ON THOSE RODS AND SPARE US A WEIGHTLIFTING EXPERIENCE .
All are silent at first and then all burst into laughter ............and an old lady tells him ........SEE U CURSED THESE CHILDREN WHO ARE BUDDING PILLARS OF OUR NATION THAT IS WHY GOD PUNISHED U ..............and the conductor looks as if he could murder her with his stare !!!

And he says they are not budding pillars they are iron pillars with nails at the bottom see how they have punctured my leg and smashed my belly and twisted my bag out of shape ..........

And so the bus drags on and the long route seems short as we laugh and poke fun and push and struggle ..........and when the college reaches we see the first smile on mister red guy and he himself opens the door and heaves a sigh of relief ........

One of the naughty girls calls out to him THIS BUS COMES BACK AT 5.00PM RIGHT WE WILL MAKE SURE WE GET INTO THIS , ELSE WE ARE SURE U WILL MISS US ...............and he looks like he saw a  ghost !!!!!!

Reading is not enough ....You should really experience the bus travel in Kerala , it is one hell of an experience as strangers and friends and young and old travel like a family laughing, joking , teasing and reach their respective destinations ........
 Whether you reach in your original shape is a matter of luck  altogether !

If at all any of u have a chance to travel to Kerala make sure u get in at least once in a local bus .........and meet mister red guy !!!!!!!