The madam on Nails :)) ........................
This is quite different from my earlier blogs ..............This blog is based on an incident i witnessed some time back ......though it has been dramatised to give more effect BUT the base is The truth , Only the truth and Nothing but the truth ..............
As i walk past a reputed cosmetics retail outlet .....a posh car pulls over and out comes a Madam with her stilettos giving an impression that she is being punished and made to walk on nails ........as she carefully and with utmost talent balances herself on those pinpointy nails ................ opps sorry heels (she would put any circus person to shame ..........shame on u you tight rope walker , do u know how much more talent you need to walk on nails / heels ...whatever ) .......
As madam slowly adjusts her sun glasses ( or rather windows covering her face to hide the after effects of a new cream in market ...........see we need to sue cosmetic companies for making humans guinea pigs )
yeah so where were we.................... yeah adjusting her windows sorry glasses ...hello it is 6 o'clock where is the sun ??
Oh shame on me maybe she has a sore eye or maybe a squint or maybe she is blind ...........I think the last option would be more correct going by the way she was dressed she would definitely positively be blind ...........Maybe a swim suit would be more covering and decent !!???
So as our poor blind heroine walked with her behind putting a pendulum to shame ..........leeeeeeft riiiiight ..............etc my eyes and feet followed her into the shop (needed strepsils for a sore throat and also just eye the new cosmetics (yeah guinea pig No.2) .............
So where were we .......yeah inside the shop now ...............
As madam touched the door the Security guard jumped to his feet and rushed to the door and pulled it wide open (and loosened its mechanism ) and said " Welcome madam " to her legs that showed below her Mini skirts ............must close the tailoring shop , see how he took advantage of the fact that madam was blind and stole some of the cloth she gave him
....that is why madam did not have enough cloth to finish her skirt !!!!!!!!
Yeah the security with mouth dribbling like a dog and eyes and all senses following her legs and behind ...........ouch he almost let my nose get smashed by leaving the door .
So our pendulum walked around as our securities eyes got glued to her benind and forgot there was a door and there were customers and there was me whose way he was blocking .......?!?!?!
Suddenly i saw a push pull (no not the train Pushpull ) ......a pushing and a pulling among the male customer service people as to who would serve Madam Pendulum ......Finally after the Victory and survival of the fittest a lean mean guy walked upto her and almost fell at her feet to say hello madam can i be of ANY assistance ?
Immediately Madam pendulum raised her glasses to her head and smileeeeeeeeeed at him ....thus succesfully flattening him below her nails or heels or whatever ......(and proving to me that she was not blind ........so i concluded that she did not have a mirror in her home )
She said Yes ...actually i was looking for a certain cream that my friend referred to me but i have forgotten its name ..............
Immediately Mr.Fall Flat : Ooooo mam you are very beautiful as it is anyway i can show you the best creams in the shop
MP: Thank you .....batting of eyelids followed ??!!! or did i feel that ???
FF : Mam this is the newest in the market It is called Ponds Age Miracle costs only 600 odd something
MP: with an offended angry pout .........Am not that old you know how could you insult me ?
FF : Oh god sorry mam ....stupid smile ........Sorry am extreeemely sorry ....again stupid smile ............(but a born salesman that he is he carried on .......) See mam nowadays due to pollution even children and new born babies get wrinkles ..............
(Newborn babies and children ?!?!?!?! wow lemme go home and check if ammu has wrinkles she plays a lot in the mud and sun )
Yeah mam i did not want your pretty face to get wrinkled so i suggested this ....havent you heard " Prevention is better than Cure "
MP: Oo yes that is true ....Ok i will take that
There went the Ponds Age Miracle into the little blue plastic basket that FF carried with love for her highness .
FF : Mam have you tried the Face wash from Ponds (Guess he loved that brand )
MP: No what is so great about it
FF: It makes your skin clean mam no pimples no black heads , no oily patches
MP : Oh all products say the same ...................
FF: Noo mam this product is the In Thing now i think u should pamper your beautiful skin and let it glow
So in went the wash into the blue basket ...and so it continued with FF eyeing madam with lusty eyes and letting his imagination to run wild about more minute details ............
Finally after 5 such baskets were full Pendulum said Oh nooo i did not get the cream i came for
FF: What is it mam
MP: Crack cream for cracked heels
FF: Mam come on u dont expect me to believe you have cracks on those pretty feet (hey anybody wants Flirting lessons come to Mr.Fall Flat )
MP: Nooo i can show it to you and Madam pendulum dainlty raises her leg while trying to balance on one nail (wow again shame on u shame shame u circus guys ) .........see i told youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu.......
Before anything or anybody could do something Miss .Pendulum came crashing down on Mr.Fall Flat who in turn fell actually flat on the nearby shelf of Aroma Oils and shampoos and creams ..................
The store manager , the security , the other CREs and many other customers came rushing like a storm ...........yeah Mr.FF is gonna get it now i thought for being so Madam bound that he forgot his responsibilities .............
But as i stood with open mouth and shock and trying hard to control my laughter ............all these people ..........least bothered about the broken goods worth more than thousands of rupees all were trying to help Madam P to her feet as she lay sprawled in 4 directions her blue baskets all crushed and her nailed sandals in 2 different directions hands like waving flags and legs like that of a cat trying to get a grip on a polished flooring .......................
Finally Miss.P managed to get up and i saw contented faces all around of having the luck to touch her once as if a crowd waiting to get a touch of some Super Duper Hollywood star ...............:)
God i think the happiest person was Mr.FF on whom Miss.P lay flat for so much time ...........
What about the broken bottles the strewn cosmetics the ouch so many broken stuff ..........That is ok we will arrange ...............Then after a rush to gather up Miss.Ps cosmetics and her Crack cream Miss P walked off swinging and as daintily as she came ....but this time with a limp as one of her nails/heels had broken in the melee ......sun glasses in place and nails and heel and broken heel clip clopping on te polished floor ................
And suddenly the open mouths , the sheepish grins ,the courteous behaviour all vanished and was replaced by screaming and yelling and frantic gathering of scaterred cosmetics and reprimanding Mr.FF for being so careless
(Mr.FF was still dazed by all that happened and stood gazing at the door as if searching for water in a desert without even an oasis )
...................God see you tailors and cosmetics companies ............see what your short skirts and tight tops and cosmetics is bringing the world too these days .....................
Anyway i came out of the shop just in time to see Madam Pendulum being ticketed for wrong parking ( by a leg eyeing pot bellied cop ........) and after the bribing with cash and smile in kind ........she sped away nearly knocking down a poor bystander who was mesmerised by her lonnnnnnng legs and swaggering limping walk and sunglasses /windows and so many other things or assessts ............
Gosh the problems caused by Mini skirts and cosmetics and roaming eyes .....................dont know what else to write and No i did not try to find out what was happening inside the shop as they had put down half the shutter with cLOSED FOR THE dAY BOARD !!
As i walk past a reputed cosmetics retail outlet .....a posh car pulls over and out comes a Madam with her stilettos giving an impression that she is being punished and made to walk on nails ........as she carefully and with utmost talent balances herself on those pinpointy nails ................ opps sorry heels (she would put any circus person to shame ..........shame on u you tight rope walker , do u know how much more talent you need to walk on nails / heels ...whatever ) .......
As madam slowly adjusts her sun glasses ( or rather windows covering her face to hide the after effects of a new cream in market ...........see we need to sue cosmetic companies for making humans guinea pigs )
yeah so where were we.................... yeah adjusting her windows sorry glasses ...hello it is 6 o'clock where is the sun ??
Oh shame on me maybe she has a sore eye or maybe a squint or maybe she is blind ...........I think the last option would be more correct going by the way she was dressed she would definitely positively be blind ...........Maybe a swim suit would be more covering and decent !!???
So as our poor blind heroine walked with her behind putting a pendulum to shame ..........leeeeeeft riiiiight ..............etc my eyes and feet followed her into the shop (needed strepsils for a sore throat and also just eye the new cosmetics (yeah guinea pig No.2) .............
So where were we .......yeah inside the shop now ...............
As madam touched the door the Security guard jumped to his feet and rushed to the door and pulled it wide open (and loosened its mechanism ) and said " Welcome madam " to her legs that showed below her Mini skirts ............must close the tailoring shop , see how he took advantage of the fact that madam was blind and stole some of the cloth she gave him
....that is why madam did not have enough cloth to finish her skirt !!!!!!!!
Yeah the security with mouth dribbling like a dog and eyes and all senses following her legs and behind ...........ouch he almost let my nose get smashed by leaving the door .
So our pendulum walked around as our securities eyes got glued to her benind and forgot there was a door and there were customers and there was me whose way he was blocking .......?!?!?!
Suddenly i saw a push pull (no not the train Pushpull ) ......a pushing and a pulling among the male customer service people as to who would serve Madam Pendulum ......Finally after the Victory and survival of the fittest a lean mean guy walked upto her and almost fell at her feet to say hello madam can i be of ANY assistance ?
Immediately Madam pendulum raised her glasses to her head and smileeeeeeeeeed at him ....thus succesfully flattening him below her nails or heels or whatever ......(and proving to me that she was not blind ........so i concluded that she did not have a mirror in her home )
She said Yes ...actually i was looking for a certain cream that my friend referred to me but i have forgotten its name ..............
Immediately Mr.Fall Flat : Ooooo mam you are very beautiful as it is anyway i can show you the best creams in the shop
MP: Thank you .....batting of eyelids followed ??!!! or did i feel that ???
FF : Mam this is the newest in the market It is called Ponds Age Miracle costs only 600 odd something
MP: with an offended angry pout .........Am not that old you know how could you insult me ?
FF : Oh god sorry mam ....stupid smile ........Sorry am extreeemely sorry ....again stupid smile ............(but a born salesman that he is he carried on .......) See mam nowadays due to pollution even children and new born babies get wrinkles ..............
(Newborn babies and children ?!?!?!?! wow lemme go home and check if ammu has wrinkles she plays a lot in the mud and sun )
Yeah mam i did not want your pretty face to get wrinkled so i suggested this ....havent you heard " Prevention is better than Cure "
MP: Oo yes that is true ....Ok i will take that
There went the Ponds Age Miracle into the little blue plastic basket that FF carried with love for her highness .
FF : Mam have you tried the Face wash from Ponds (Guess he loved that brand )
MP: No what is so great about it
FF: It makes your skin clean mam no pimples no black heads , no oily patches
MP : Oh all products say the same ...................
FF: Noo mam this product is the In Thing now i think u should pamper your beautiful skin and let it glow
So in went the wash into the blue basket ...and so it continued with FF eyeing madam with lusty eyes and letting his imagination to run wild about more minute details ............
Finally after 5 such baskets were full Pendulum said Oh nooo i did not get the cream i came for
FF: What is it mam
MP: Crack cream for cracked heels
FF: Mam come on u dont expect me to believe you have cracks on those pretty feet (hey anybody wants Flirting lessons come to Mr.Fall Flat )
MP: Nooo i can show it to you and Madam pendulum dainlty raises her leg while trying to balance on one nail (wow again shame on u shame shame u circus guys ) .........see i told youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu.......
Before anything or anybody could do something Miss .Pendulum came crashing down on Mr.Fall Flat who in turn fell actually flat on the nearby shelf of Aroma Oils and shampoos and creams ..................
The store manager , the security , the other CREs and many other customers came rushing like a storm ...........yeah Mr.FF is gonna get it now i thought for being so Madam bound that he forgot his responsibilities .............
But as i stood with open mouth and shock and trying hard to control my laughter ............all these people ..........least bothered about the broken goods worth more than thousands of rupees all were trying to help Madam P to her feet as she lay sprawled in 4 directions her blue baskets all crushed and her nailed sandals in 2 different directions hands like waving flags and legs like that of a cat trying to get a grip on a polished flooring .......................
Finally Miss.P managed to get up and i saw contented faces all around of having the luck to touch her once as if a crowd waiting to get a touch of some Super Duper Hollywood star ...............:)
God i think the happiest person was Mr.FF on whom Miss.P lay flat for so much time ...........
What about the broken bottles the strewn cosmetics the ouch so many broken stuff ..........That is ok we will arrange ...............Then after a rush to gather up Miss.Ps cosmetics and her Crack cream Miss P walked off swinging and as daintily as she came ....but this time with a limp as one of her nails/heels had broken in the melee ......sun glasses in place and nails and heel and broken heel clip clopping on te polished floor ................
And suddenly the open mouths , the sheepish grins ,the courteous behaviour all vanished and was replaced by screaming and yelling and frantic gathering of scaterred cosmetics and reprimanding Mr.FF for being so careless
(Mr.FF was still dazed by all that happened and stood gazing at the door as if searching for water in a desert without even an oasis )
...................God see you tailors and cosmetics companies ............see what your short skirts and tight tops and cosmetics is bringing the world too these days .....................
Anyway i came out of the shop just in time to see Madam Pendulum being ticketed for wrong parking ( by a leg eyeing pot bellied cop ........) and after the bribing with cash and smile in kind ........she sped away nearly knocking down a poor bystander who was mesmerised by her lonnnnnnng legs and swaggering limping walk and sunglasses /windows and so many other things or assessts ............
Gosh the problems caused by Mini skirts and cosmetics and roaming eyes .....................dont know what else to write and No i did not try to find out what was happening inside the shop as they had put down half the shutter with cLOSED FOR THE dAY BOARD !!
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