A journey through an illness

It was somewhere in 2013 February ...

My left eye started acting funny ...Everyday morning it decided to swell up and water like the Grand canyon !! ...

Could be an allergy was the only thought that came to mind .

The next one  week followed with me applying an anti allergy drops in my eye ...

In a  week the swelling came down a bit but I seriously started doubting whether i am a distant relative of one Mister Count Dracula hailing from Pennsylvania ..

Even the mellow rays of the shining sun hurt like pin pricks ..

I , who always ran towards the sunlight , brightly lit rooms  and hated closed spaces ...began craving for a little darkness !!!

Unbelievable said my family ...somethings really wrong here .

Yes that gut instinct hit me too . Finally i decided to meet a senior Ophthalmologist as soon as possible ..

The diagnosis again was there is an allergic inflammation inside ur eye and u need to put these drops everyday for the next two weeks ...

Fine by me ....in the meanwhile i was ready to meet Count Dracula and proclaim that i could be the legal heir to his castle ...

The sun became my worst enemy and the mornings most painful ...

The eye would swell up protesting angrily every morning ...,then settle down in a few hours to normal and then protest against even the light from a zero watt bulb .

Two weeks passed and the so called drops made no difference at all ...

Slowly and fearfully i realised that the swelling was becomming permanent  ....that gave me a very bad eye infected  look all the time .....It was difficult to even blink normally  without a pain shooting through that eye .

Sleep was impossible as my eyelids refused to shut and all through the night my eyes watered and kept me awake .

This is not an allergy , please meet another doctor my eyes pleaded ...and finally i did the same .

The Final diagnosis ... Thyroidal eye disease  or in Medical terms Graves Syndrome . . .Caused by a very hyper active thyroid gland . An insignificant   part of our body that we often tend to forget ..

I never knew that a funnily acting thyroid could wreck havoc inur eyes .

Finally it was a month long drill of numerous blood tests and scary MRI scans ....a very badly claustrophobic person like me found it the worst nightmare , lying inside that noisy closed machine ...like a coffin ..

Numerous eye tests , painful drops , long tiring hospital visits ....And a danger to loose your vision suddenly one fine day . 

A  chain of Steroids  that just violates you mentally , makes you loose control of ur own body and behave like a totally  new person .

Took a lot of reading and googling and references to come to an understanding with the disease .

My Endocrinologist kept advising  me afterevery visit ... Make peace with your disease then you will handle it better and you will get better too .
The tenure given for recovery was the scariest ... Will take maybe 3 years maybe longer , but it will eventually settle down .... u need to come to terms with it for your own good .

In short the disease is like having conjunctivitis or sore eyes every day of  ur life for a period of two to three years .

The worst part being Curious people staring at you like u are a freak or a circus ...and having to face it everyday .

People commenting your sun glasses and wondering aloud ....Too much attitude and style she shows with her sunglasses , cant she walk without them .
And all this while only i knew that am sincerely battling with the sun to be able to keep my eyes open !!! 

Comments on my eyes , my spectacles , my changing face , my anger , of being elusive ....i have heard it all , and now it does not matter .

Two years have passed since all this and now things have  indeed settled down , my eye is almost back to normal .
 Morning swellings are still visiting me but the intensity is almost nil compared to what it was a year back  .
My vision is now ok and dryness in eyes is minimal .

Mister  Count Dracula i still do feel am a blood relative though as the sun still hurts my eye and my sunglasses are my constant  companions .

But through all this trauma and suffering there was a lot of good that made itself visible ...

Firstly it takes something as small as a gland to change your life completely ....

MORAL : Even the tiniest things matter .

Secondly People who stand by you in trying times are the ones you should value all ur life . Indebted to My uncle Dr.Balakrishnan Kichu Nair who was with me throughout these trying two years and my cousin Dr. Lakshmi Pillai for her endless support .

Love my family ,my sister Seema who has always made me feel u r the prettiest even with three eyes and two heads !! and  my parents who held my hand and helped me walked through this 

 True friends ...Sathya , Sweety , Vidhya , Sabrina and Annette ....who faced me each day and not once stared or gave me the feeling that my eye was bad .

The only words they spoke ..We know the actual Sindhu ...a bad eye does not change the person you are ,,,this too shall pass .

Life and health are precious , take care of it everyday . Money can never buy health or happiness .

Your body is sacred respect it . Live each day valuing the health that God gives you ,cause one fine day you may just loose it and never find it again .

And now finally i have the courage to write about it  or come to terms with it and Also so people know about such a disease and take proper treatment at the proper time .